August 13, 2003

Driving in the City

I made the drive into the big city this morning for a hearing and saw a couple motor vehicles that looked like what I can only describe as down-sized armored cars without the Wells Fargo or Brink's logo. I didn't want to get close for fear that the gun ports would open and the white VW with the black "The Who" sticker on the back bumper would take some automatic weapons fire.

I did get close enough to note that each of the vehicles, one all black with black tinted windows and the other red and black and gray with black tinted windows, carried the Honda insignia, obviously a derivative of the Japanese defense arsenal just like the Hummer is in the U.S. Each was called "ELEMENT."

The Honda ELEMENT surely rivals the Chrysler PT Cruiser as the ugliest vehicle on the road.

Oh, I almost forgot. I had to stop for gas; so, I went to my favorite filling station, BP, where I have had a number of run-ins with the wise-ass girl behind the counter. She apparently does not work there anymore. How do I know? The warning sign on the pump clearly says, "TURN ENGINE OFF." I didn't. Left the Beetle running while I filled up. I did not get censured.

AND there was an employee emptying the garbage cans. He wore the pukey green BP vest and the same-colored hat -- very stylish in gas station circles. He had a haircut where the barber, probably his mother or girlfriend, put a bowl over the top of his noggin and shaved the rest of his head. And here is the clincher for me that the wise-ass, punk girl doesn't work there anymore -- he was smoking.

Now, either he could have blown us all to smithereens or that "NO SMOKING" plastered all over the gas station landscape is a bunch of crap. I am inclined to think the latter and that the signs are a hold-over from the time of topping off tanks and no fancy gas fume recovery pump systems.

Now, I'm wondering about whether my cell phone can cause the whole country east of the Mississippi to explode if I talk on it at the gas station while filling the tank. I'm not going to chance that one.

And before I forget, the wedding was at Hidden Valley Resort in the Laurel Highlands of Pennsylvania. We had this nice three-bedroom condo at "The Summit," which was cheaper than getting three rooms at "The Inn." Can anyone tell me why the water had a greenish hue. I took a shower, but used a lot of soap, which Bath and Body Works will be happy to hear, because I wanted to make sure what hair I have left didn't turn green.

Give me Great Lakes water any day of the week.

Posted by Bill at August 13, 2003 08:17 PM
Comments

One of my neighbors just got one of those fugly cars. I don't get it. They are awful looking.

Posted by: kathy at August 14, 2003 02:02 AM

I love the Chrysler PT cruiser. Do you have Renault Kangoos in the US?

Posted by: Anji at August 14, 2003 04:44 AM

Oh you just stole my topic - The ONLY American car I like which we can get here is the Grand Cherokee Jeep. The Chrysler you can keep, thank-you-very-much. As for the other gas-guzzlers we see in the movies, pleeeease tell me they are not manufactured anymore?

Tell me Bill - is the little white VW with a The Who sticker on it - a little white beetle? If so, you now have a collectors item. I first learnt to drive in my mothers vw beetle - what a wonderful little car she was.

Posted by: Michelle at August 14, 2003 07:20 AM

Hank drives a PT Cruiser.... lol ......

He wanted to get flames on it but couldn't "justify the cost"....

I just laughed. I figured he'd thrown away his money on stupid car anyway, might as well get the flames!

-d

Posted by: d at August 14, 2003 12:55 PM

The Element may be ugly (French ambulance?), but it's damn practical. You can fit a longboard INSIDE the car, wash all of the sand out with a hose, and get a reliable Japanese car. Now, the Aztec is the ugliest car out there. Must be why they were discontinued.

Posted by: pink lotus at August 14, 2003 02:05 PM

To me the Element just looks like they got part-way through designing a vehicle and then the pizza showed up and they all left to eat dinner, and when they got back they found that someone had taken their plans and made a car out of them. The Aztec, on the other hand, was more like the "Homer" from the simpsons - a car that, in being all things for all people, became a really ugly clumsy thing that scared small children and dogs.

I think the water was green because electromagnetic radiation in the visible spectrum was passing through it and all wavelengths but green were absorbed. If the color bothers you, try to reduce the amount of ambient electromagnetic radiation by shutting off the lights and covering the windows. Hope that helps.

Posted by: dan at August 14, 2003 04:46 PM

The ELEMENT reminds me of the type of vehicles that came with our little playsets when we were kids. I think it's what the Weeble Wobbles drove.

Posted by: Tuesday at August 15, 2003 09:02 PM

dan: just what i said. in EXACTLY those words -- "it's the ELECTROMAGNETIC RADIATION, bill!"

Posted by: stacey at August 16, 2003 09:09 AM