I was all prepared to tell you in detail about the seminar I attended entitled Consumer Law Issues in Municipal and County Courts, at least about the parts for which I was awake, but that can wait another day. There is something more important I discovered that has caused me major concern.
You all know those confections made of marshmallow and covered with sugar made in the shape of little chicks that are called Peeps. Peeps have been the subject of extensive research over the years.
When I was in the grocery store last night, I couldn't believe my eyes. Capitalizing on Peeps' popularity, the company that makes Peeps (and we know that the blue Peeps they tried to foist on an unsuspecting public were an utter abomination) introduced something that looks like a flattened orange pumpkin and a white flattened ghost. What kind of nincompoops work at that place? I can live with the Peeps chick masked and outfitted for Halloween (**gag, cough, cough**), just barely, however; but this pumpkin and ghost thing is the last straw for me. And it should be the last straw for all of you. It is a symbol of everything that is wrong with this country.
Damn it, Peeps are for Springtime, Easter, whatever, not for Halloween!! I have decided that I will not buy Peeps anymore (I suppose if I find an old hard one behind the couch, I'll eat it after picking off all the dog hair and dust bunnies -- that's okay, I think.). I am appalled by the way this company prostitutes itself just to make a buck in the off-season. Have the owners no shame? Have they no honor? Have they no decency?
I will not be sucked into this marketing trap. I will not be a party to this company's rape of the confection consumer. Sure, I will buy candy corn. I will buy orange marshmallow peanuts (even there, I saw yellow ones, which did not amuse me), as long as the expiration date on the bags is over a year old. But Peeps? No fucking way. No more, I say. Please join me. Join me, in the name of all that is decent and pure or indecent and impure, whatever your pleasure may be, in the boycott of Peeps and Peeps' rip-off product lines.
It's just not right, what they're doing. It's just not right, I tell ya.
Oh, by the way the 39th Annual World Conker Championship is being held at The Village Green, Ashton, Northants, UK, Sunday, October 12, 2003. Tickets for adults are just £2 and for senior citizens/kids £1. It makes for a nice, inexpensive day out. The competition starts at 9am and ends at about 3pm.
Just thought you might want to know. These things tend to creep up on you without much notice.
dammit! i had those on my shopping list.
Posted by: stacey at October 9, 2003 01:26 PMwhat the HELL happened to my comment? you got me blocked, buddy?
Posted by: stacey at October 9, 2003 01:28 PMOh poor, sweet, disillusioned Bill! This is the first year you have seen the Halloween Peeps? Hate to break it to ya Bud, but they've been around for a while. Wait until post-Halloween when the Christmas Peeps hit the store! Can't recall what they look like. I believe snowman shaped and perhaps there are even santa peeps... They have all varieties of Peeps on the market these days. Not that I've become a purchaser of such things. Can't stand them myself. So my poor child and husband still only get them in the spring because I'll only buy them then - once a year when they are expected since I can't stand them around any more than that...
Posted by: crazy girl at October 9, 2003 01:38 PMall i know is that peeps taste icky. :-)
Posted by: jenB at October 9, 2003 02:51 PMoh jen, jen, jen. i want sooooo bad to be dirty here, but my kids read this site. you just can't leave a statement like that alone. it's. so. hard. i. must. stop. now.
Posted by: stacey at October 9, 2003 02:57 PMPeeps!
The peep factory is very near where I work and they give tours. The most fascinating thing about them is the fact that the little eyes are made from undigestible carnuba wax.
Posted by: Suzette at October 9, 2003 03:56 PMAlso, here is the best Peepku I ever heard:
Behold the brave peeps
marching shoulder to shoulder.
Comrads without arms.
Bill don't you collect pens? You can buy yourself a Peep 50th Anniversary Limited Edition Pen. Even a keyring. If you then have a couple of peeps too, you will be able to have your very own peep show.
Posted by: Michelle at October 9, 2003 04:08 PMoh god oh god oh god oh god stop me. this is. too. much.
Posted by: stacey at October 9, 2003 04:15 PMbut suzette: you know MORE THAN ONE peepku???!!! i want to hear them ALL.
Posted by: stacey at October 9, 2003 04:25 PMI wouldn't mind if they took all the little peeps, inedible eyes and deleted them. Probably not fair, because I don't eat a lot of sweets, but they are always last on my list.
Posted by: cassie-b at October 9, 2003 04:35 PMThey look right at me
with carwax drops for eyeballs.
Bite the heads off first.
This one is famous-
In nuclear winter
just two things survive intact:
peeps and cockroaches.
Now you make one up.
Posted by: Suzette at October 9, 2003 08:20 PMPeeps. Beady eyes.
Stare from where they hide.
Rock hard. Not chewy.
bill writes about peeps.
i try to keep my mouth shut.
selfless sacrifice.
Sure, you CLAIM you're swearing off Peeps, but I've never known anybody who actually could give 'em up once they were hooked...regardless of shape or color. 'Course, I personally never eat them. Never. Almost never. Well, occasionally. Maybe a couple. Of boxes. But only on major and minor holidays.
Posted by: Philip at October 10, 2003 01:16 AM