I admit it. I am not a righteous man. I have pontificated about the foibles of motorists driving their various SUV's on the road and in parking lots, most recently earlier this week. You would think that I am a mild-mannered, polite driver, obeying all of the rules of the road, archaic speed laws excepted. And if you were like my four ... five ... six long-time ... make that five long-time readers, you would realize that I have admitted to many mistakes.
This morning, I was going to write about how I cut off some people, like I usually do, when the road goes down from three lanes to two. I never wait in line -- always get in that exit lane and ride it to the end and then jump in to continue on the journey. The wife did notice that I signaled yesterday evening -- put the turn signal on after I cut in front of the Lexus -- "A little late for the turn signal, dontchathink," she piped up, not complaining, of course, that I had probably cut about 45 seconds off our total travel time. So, yeah, that was me you called a name, a bad name. It's okay. I understand.
So, you see, I am not a righteous man. And as I sat here, thinking about writing about what a real jerk I was driving yesterday, the fucking woodpecker returned. There is a woodpecker, who has the idea that this house is some kind of huge tree, like a sequoia tree, I guess, except not as tall and with no leaves -- whatever. Maybe the fucking woodpecker is fucking near-sighted. Anyway, it started hammering its beak into the house. I opened the window -- it flew away.
Now it is back, trying to peck a hole into the house -- dumbass bird! I'm going out there to -- fucking woodpecker. I'll be back.
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I'm back. I betcha you think it would be pretty hard to hit a fucking woodpecker with a rock. It's not!
Bill, Bill, Bill. Everyone knows you don't throw rocks at woodpeckers, you use a slingshot! Sheesh, get it right! Maybe if you liked soccer....hehe
Posted by: TW at October 24, 2003 10:55 AMLMAO @ Woody.
I'd be cursing you, You late Turn Signaler! I hate when that happens. At least you're understanding. I'll give that to you. ;d
Posted by: Charlene at October 24, 2003 11:05 AM1. I HATE people that cut in traffic lines like that... BASTARD! I'll remember this in the future. LOL
2. I can't believe you spoiled my perfect image of you.
3. While it wasn't hard to hit the woodpecker with the rock, did the damned thing learn it's lesson?
That's all for now.... I'm sure I can think of some more later.
-d
Posted by: -d at October 24, 2003 11:36 AMthis driving stuff drives me CRAZY! he is a crazy driver; unfortunately, he's also a really, really good driver.
Posted by: stacey at October 24, 2003 12:36 PMBe glad the woodpecker was only bothering your house. We had one once that was working on the top of our gas grill. Try sleeping through that.
Posted by: Suzette at October 24, 2003 02:19 PMDo you have a 5-story house or something? Why is it attacking your house?
My dad used to have me and my sister tell him when there was a scrub jay on the telephone lines so that he could shoot it with his b-b gun. My mom hated that we aided his hobby, especially when the bird would fall into the neighbor's yard.
Posted by: pink lotus at October 24, 2003 05:41 PMWhoa! Throwing rocks at birds?!? Isn't that against the rules of your lefty ways?
Posted by: Brett at October 24, 2003 07:30 PM