bill asked me today when i was going to post something. as if i could keep up with him. but i guess i have been kind of a slacker, so here i am.
we spent the day bumming (target, bath and body works, costco, home depot, starbucks -- where people act like they have no idea what a handicapped spot is). we're waiting for jax to come home with a buddy so we can have some chicken soup and kick-ass cornbread, watching "queer eye."
the first post i ever made was at my first site, and i'm going to "run" it again, given our experience at starbucks today. cuz, really, i'm just lazy. read on, puhleez!
needing a mocha -- badly this morning, i am faced with my first decision (second if you count the choice i was forced to make between a mocha or a gingerbread spice latte) on my drive in to work. westlake promenade starbucks or north olmsted. north olmsted always has a slight edge cuz the people like me there more than the westlake store who staffs only people who want my husband -- the only exceptions are the straight males, of which the staff has maybe 2. for all shifts. AND the nice little handicapped parking space is a little harder to maneuver into. into which to maneuver. whatever.
and i'm running a little late. so as anybody knows, if you're running late, you stop closest to your destination because even if the stop would take the same amount of time wherever you stop, common sense tells you anyway that you won't be as late if you make the stop closer to your destination. don't argue with me about this. you know it's true.
so, north olmsted it is. and they have those two REALLY, REALLY nice handicapped parking spaces. before i pull into the parking lot, i can see one is taken up by a really, really big suv. i don't know what kind, jax, sorry. i think it's called a gargantuan. no handicapped thingy as far as i can see. oh. but wait. the car (is that proper to call it a car?) is RUNNING. as everybody knows, if you leave your car RUNNING, it's a-ok to park in a handicapped spot. it implies you're in A HURRY. you know. a HURRY. but wait. that's not all. there's a REALLY, REALLY cute dog in the passenger seat. so OF COURSE he could park there!
there's an oh-so-cute, wiggly young woman tapping at the REALLY, REALLY cute dog's window, singing "hi cutie pie." this is really a nice looking dog by my standards -- it's an all-white (coulda been an albino) bull dog. so he didn't like her calling him that. his reaction was not friendly, and i'm happy about that for some inexplicable reason. i get out of the car as gracefully as i can, cuz she's standing right next to me waiting. being cute. for what i don't know. she must think she can talk this dog into changing his first impression of her. so i get out and she turns to me all cute like and says, "cute, huh?" i say "yeah, nice dog -- does he have a handicapped sticker?" cute doesn't bring out the nice in me, as you all know. cute and nice. overrated. she says all cute like, "i don't know, it's not my car." really? thank god, cuz if it were, you might want to consider getting a different dog is what i'd like to say. but i want to hurry up so whoever does belong to this dog and car can see a handicapped person actually going to starbucks. a handicapped person in a hurry. some REALLY, REALLY cute young guy comes out of starbucks. the two cute young people catch each other's eye. the cute girl (woman?) says, "really cute dog" as i'm approaching him. i say, "yeah. cute. fucking asshole." he's beaming as i pass him cuz he's caught the attention of a really, really cute girl. evidently with his REALLY, REALLY cute dog and big car (?). you know what they say. big car. big gas bill. must have money.
so as far as i can see, i've played a part in this really, really cute hook-up. when they're done talking about the dog, they can talk about me.
i hope the dog bites her. i hope the guy spills his coffee in his big car. i wish he woulda said something back to me. i had a lot more to say to him. fucking fuckwit asshole. i woulda said fucking fuckwit fuck, but i thought that would have been over the top. maybe not.
i'm not in a good mood.
Posted by Stacey at January 17, 2004 07:11 PMThere was a time that NYC would plaster a giant sticker on the windsheild and driver's side window if they were illegally parked. The glue and paper they used were particularliy hard to remove. Have you ever considered immortalizing your words on a sticker and keeping them handy for occaisions such as thins one?
Posted by: Suzette at January 17, 2004 09:34 PMi've thought about it, suzette; but i decided that most times, it's best if my words just go away.
Posted by: stacey at January 17, 2004 09:52 PMI once lived in a Chicago suburb that did the sticker-on-the-windshield thing. It was about 12 inches square, day-glo orange, and placed dead center on the driver's side windshield. It stated in big letters that it was placed there as a "courtesy" in lieu of a ticket for parking in a handicap space. That way, the inconsiderate bastards were easy to spot.
Posted by: Philip at January 18, 2004 02:44 AMIn front of our handicapped spaces we have a sign. "If you want my parking space perhaps you'd like my handicap too" They are usually left empty, with the execption of big expensive cars. Have you noticed that big expensive cars don't usually have indicators - must be a very expensive option!
Posted by: Anji at January 18, 2004 03:52 AMI love you Stacey. Huge hugs.
Posted by: Keri at January 18, 2004 10:00 PM