February 14, 2004

Wine and Beef Bourguignon

Beef Bourguignon has been on Stacey's mind for the past couple weeks with the intent to make the dish. And all of you are thinking, "What the hell is happening? Is this becoming a cooking blog or what?" I don't think so, but evolution things change over time and you don't even realize it.

So, I was sent out to buy the wine required, burgundy, which may have something to do with the name of the dish, but I don't know French. And I don't know wines. I have partaken two partial glasses of wine in my entire lifetime, and both were yellowish in color. I apologize to wine lovers everywhere because I found the stuff unpalatable. This isn't to say that I haven't purchased wine as a gift, having asked those in the know what would be a nice take-along to a party or gift on some alcohol-appropriate occasion; but I didn't feel the need to consult friends about getting a burgundy required by a recipe.

The local grocery store, Giant Eagle, expanded when the town expanded; and when the obscenely humongous seven-figure homes started going in, the home office apparently ordered that the wine section expand to include some kind of private wine cellar in addition to the 14 rows of shelving holding every conceivable make and model of wine from all over the world. It would take years to go through the assortment. Gone are the days of Ernest & Julio Gallo and two local wineries supplying all the wine needs of the citizens of this town, which was located in the country among fields covered with grape vines.

I figured, though, that this was an easy mission to accomplish, kind of like what Bush thought about Iraq. Heck, I didn't even have to wade into the aisles of wine bottles. There was a rack right at the end of the first aisle, from where I would grab a bottle and head to the check-out, which had a bunch of bottles with labels that said "Fat bastard" on them. "Fat bastard" didn't make a burgundy wine, I guess; so, I waded in. After about a minute or so, I didn't even care about price. I was looking for the magic word -- BURGUNDY.

Nobody makes "BURGUNDY." I saw some "red table wine" and "merlot," plain red wines, blushing wines, "concord" and "cabernet sauvignon," which has the "ignon" ending, but not knowing French, I wasn't going to take a risk. There were wine words I had never heard of and languages I didn't recognize. One of the labels was written in Klingon. Who knew that a five-minute jaunt would turn into a full-blown field trip for which I would need a permission slip.

Then I found it. The Holy Grail. The label I.D'ed the stuff as "Burgundy." That's all I cared about at that point. The bottle, though, wasn't a real wine bottle, however, the classic narrow cylinder with a long, elegant neck. No, it was a moonshine jug that Granny Clampett in the "Beverly Hillbillies" carries from time to time. Whatever. I didn't care. It was burgundy with a big "B." Thank you, Carlo Rossi.

Posted by Bill at February 14, 2004 09:38 AM
Comments

I am in awe of the way you slipped that little controversial term in the first paragraph. Brilliant.

Posted by: TW at February 14, 2004 04:50 PM

You don't know how lucky you are, in France all we ever get is FRENCH wine, some times a teeny spot of Italian. My recipe book just asks for 'red' wine! The Beverly Hillbillies, it's so nice that someone else still remembers them, how about Greenacres?

Posted by: Anji at February 15, 2004 03:17 AM

I just use MD 20/20 for anything that calls for wine, I mean why spend big money on a fancy wine for something that will end up tasting like crap anyway?

Posted by: Jeff A at February 16, 2004 10:33 AM