April 05, 2004

Extra! Extra!

And now, Americans, it's time for NEWS!

As promised, I am bringing you news from the grocery store check-out. The line wasn't long; so, I only got a glance at my all-time favorite "news"paper, Weekly World News, and my late grandmother's favorite, National Enquirer.

Inside Martha's Jail Hell Prison officials are apparently preparing a prison cell for Martha Stewart. The stainless steel toilet is standard nowadays, but the painting of Elvis on black velvet is an interesting touch.

I have seen a painting strikingly similar to that somewhere. Oh, yeah! My late mother-in-law had one just like it! I'm thinking that my sister-in-law, the one with the freeze-dried collie that she keeps in a cage at night, now has it hanging in her barber shop next to the seven-foot marlin she snagged that is mounted on the wall. She has this thing about taxidermy, I think.

She's Available! Elizabeth Taylor, 72 years old, is going to get married again, for the 9th time. She doesn't have any candidates, but she is on the prowl.

Is Mickey Rooney still out there? Maybe he's trolling the waters, also. Mr. Rooney, my sister-in-law, the one with the freeze-dried collie that she keeps in a cage at night and who also has an Elvis on velvet painting hanging in her barber shop next to the seven-foot marlin she snagged that is mounted on the wall, is available; and she has this thing about taxidermy, I think. Just so you know.

Posted by Bill at April 5, 2004 03:15 PM
Comments

Hey...I'm 72 and looking for my 9th husband too.

Small world...

Posted by: Kathy Howe at April 5, 2004 09:33 PM

Now I know the real reason for Liz coming over to Cannes this spring.

Posted by: Anji at April 6, 2004 02:51 AM