Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Good morning, Americans! It's Friday!

When Stace and I used to drive to work together -- back in the day, as J-dogg says -- we could not wait until news commentator Paul Harvey made the big announcement at the beginning of his Friday newscast. The weekend just didn't start off right without it.

Now, whether any of this stuff is true, I don't know; but here's some news stories:

Climatologist Dr. Sarah Satch, of the prestigious World Climate Institute in New York, claims that the Statue of Liberty could begin to melt as early as December -- of this year -- due to global warming.

"The first thing to go will be the spikes on her crown, her torch, and the features on her face," Dr. Satch said.

No wonder nobody will be allowed inside the thing once it opens to the public again.

A 9-year-old girl was accused of stealing a rabbit from a neighbor's home. She was arrested, handcuffed and interrogated by a Pasco County, Florida, Sheriff's deputy until she broke down and cried, admitting to the theft of the rabbit, but denying she stole $10.

Don't worry. In Florida, the death penalty is imposed only upon those offenders over 12 years of age.

In 2002, Princess Anne was fined when her bull terrier, Dotty, attacked two boys in Windsor Great Park. Over the Christmas holidays, the canine's blood lust got the best of her and she savaged the Queen's Corgi, Pharos.

Now, the maniacal mutt has been implicated in the deaths of Princess Diana, boyfriend Dodi Fayed and their driver. In 1996, shortly before the royal divorce, Dotty lunged at Diana at a garden party and tried to bite her ankle. Theorists claim that the dog flew to Paris, somehow made it into the car, and went berserk on that fateful drive, causing the fatal wreck.

The Sheriff of Pasco County, Florida, is investigating. Oliver Stone has denied that he acquired the movie rights and has been secretly filming the live action feature.

Pesky French scientists at the National Museum of Natural History in Paris have laid claim to discovery of the earliest example of what was likely a domesticated cat. Found with the curled-up human skeleton in the 9,500-year-old grave on the island of Cyprus was the skeleton of an 8-month-old little kitty, the sex of which could not be determined.

"The burial of a complete cat without any signs of butchering reminds us of human burials and emphasizes the animal as an individual," said the scientists, only they said it in French.

The Sheriff of Pasco County, Florida, is investigating whether the cat can be implicated in the death of the individual. Apparently overlooked is the more important conclusion that this is the first example of neutering the family pet in the history of mankind.

Have a nice weekend.

Posted by Bill at April 9, 2004 09:47 AM