Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Contracts Stink

KNOW ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS that on the 19th day of April, 2004, Bill, hereinafter called the "party of the first part" and the human race, hereinafter called the "party of the second part," for and in consideration of the mutual promises set forth and contained herein and for other valuable consideration, the receipt of which is hereby acknowledged by both parties, hereby covenant and agree, as follows:

1. That the party of the first part will not gag while he is in line at the local Marc's discount store;

2. That the party of the second part shall bathe in fragrant bath waters or shower, washing with soap adequate to cleanse and purify the body of the party of the second part, including, but not limited to any and all orifices, so as to prevent foul vapors from emanating from the body;

3. That the party of the first part will not say to the teenaged girl at the check-out counter so that others can hear, to the embarassment of the party of the second part, "What is that smell;"

4. If not cleansed and purified so as to prevent foul vapors from emanating from the body, the party of the second part shall not stand next to the party of the first part and shall at all times keep the party of the second part's shopping cart between the party of the second part and the party of the first part.

5. The party of the second part hereby authorizes the party of the first part, or his designee or designees, to physically restrain, control and detain the party of the second part by the exercise of necessary restraints when deemed necessary by the party of the first part, for purposes, including, but not limited to escorting the party of the second part from the Marc's discount store, or preventing the party of the second part from jeopardizing the olfactory senses of others, including, but not limited to the party of the first part by any other reasonable action.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties have executed this Agreement as of the date set forth above.

/s/ Bill
Bill

/s/ Smelly Guy
Smelly Guy, by and on behalf
of all Smelly Guys in Human Race

Posted by Bill at April 19, 2004 08:21 PM