April 22, 2004

MORE CRANKY SHIT

warning to men: you SHOULD read this, but you won’t want to.

i’ll be 50 in a couple of months. wtf? me? yup. and i know it’s true, cuz for the past month, the following (oh yeah a bulleted list is coming up) have been my constant companions:

  • hot flashes. ok. these kinds of things are not COMPLETELY new to me because when my lesion appeared in my brain stem, my temperature-control indicator gauge went completely haywire. my “furnace,” as we in the fam like to call it, hasn’t worked right since then. it doesn’t turn on when it should, or it turns on – and refuses to turn off – when it shouldn’t. i’ve learned to live with these episodes. these are normal for me. but these new hot flashes. these are not furnace related. these are nuclear reactions, for crying out loud. no slow working up to a sweat. almost immediate escalation to meltdown.

  • anxiety attacks. physically uncomfortable. painful, even. why do you hate me, god?

  • mood swings. i’m ok one hour. the next two days i’m tearing up at nothing, pissed at everything. miserable. and that hour:2 days ratio is not a mistake. it seems to be just about right. well maybe there’s a couple good hours. not many.

    • fuckin’ shit.

    i THINK i’m on a very slow upswing. if we – bill, jax, and i – are lucky, the good hours will happen when i’m home.

    this might not be a good time to piss me off. it will pass. in a couple months, i’ll be back to my normal easy-going, rational, non-emotional, non-reactive sweet stacey.

    i heard that.

    Posted by Stacey at April 22, 2004 10:16 AM
    Comments

    When I put on the infra-red, night-vision goggles, I can tell a definite difference between the nuclear meltdown and the regular furnace. And how about my idea of the dry ice in the bucket in front of the fan blowing on you at night? That would almost be like sleeping with the window open when it's 3 below outside.

    And by the way, you are disguising those mood swings rather well, I think. Of course, I haven't left any 2-liter bottles laying around.

    Posted by: Bill at April 22, 2004 10:44 AM

    you are so full of shit. disguising my ass.

    Posted by: stacey at April 22, 2004 10:48 AM

    Oh, no! You knew that?

    Posted by: Bill at April 22, 2004 10:52 AM

    EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. come onnnn. will you give me a couple of hours without the continuous, OBVIOUS baiting? do you want me to STAY LIKE THIS?

    Posted by: stacey at April 22, 2004 11:11 AM

    and it was a 1-liter bottle. hyperbole does not become you.

    Posted by: stacey at April 22, 2004 11:12 AM

    I love you guys. Big hugs Stacey. Sorry you're having such challenging challenges.

    Posted by: Keri at April 22, 2004 01:03 PM

    Y'all are a hoot. Hope everything stabilizes soon, stacey.

    Posted by: TW at April 22, 2004 01:21 PM

    Yes and I especially love you too. I can't believe you are going to be 50 Stace. When is the big day? You have such a beautiful personality that I doubt anyone would even come close in guessing your age. You and Bill prove that being 50 is a blast. Hon - I hope the changes will become more bearable and I would like to thank you for sharing them - especially with me - as it is a learning curve for when I hit the same emotional downswing you are. There is one very good advantage of what you are going through - if you genuinely loose your temper with someone you can blame it on menopause and get away with it. Please, what ever you do, don't Kill Bill because the jury could think you were making a mockery out of the movie. Be strong Angel - wish I was nearby to take you out for coffee or a girls night out at a pub. Luv u lots.

    Posted by: Michelle at April 22, 2004 02:26 PM

    Oh I know when you are going to be 50. Don't answer that....... silly me. I must find a really cool picture to post for you.

    Posted by: Michelle at April 22, 2004 02:28 PM

    does chocolate help? :-)

    Posted by: tj at April 22, 2004 09:11 PM

    Uh oh. Man, can I commiserate. Will be 50 the end of May. Memorial day. Or used to be. My thermostat stays under a little better control via estrogen replacement. But, I also have a wacky thyroid, so take one step forward, two steps back. Growing old ain't for sissies!

    Shoot, wished we lived closer. We could throw a big cookout or something. And on the roaster spit - Stacey and Pattie! Happy Queen day! (I think we qualify as queens instead of princesses now, huh?)

    Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at April 22, 2004 10:26 PM

    Growing older can be pure hell. So, I've decided never to grow up. I'm taking notes, which I'll share.

    Posted by: Philip at April 22, 2004 10:29 PM

    Billy don't you have appliances in the basement or something that need your attention?

    Stace...you rock. I love how you take the shit of shit in life and make it the funniest friggin thing I've read all day if not all week.

    When I hit 50 I want to do it Stacey style:

    SASSY!

    Posted by: Kathy Howe at April 22, 2004 10:30 PM

    My sympathies. To Stacey that is.

    Posted by: jenB at April 22, 2004 11:57 PM

    Sounds very familiar, except for the lesion. My wife has menopausal symptoms exactly like yours. We found that SAM-e worked great for the mood swings. Take in a.m. on empty stomach. Try different dosages and brands! Some brands do not deliver. For the hot flashes, etc. my wife uses a "mid-life ease" formula at night before bed on empty stomach. We found that Jarrow is one company that makes quality supplements and they work rather well. You can buy them at health food stores on the Internet (easiest method). Hope you find some relief. Peace.

    Posted by: bryan at April 23, 2004 05:31 AM

    Doesn't sound like fun and I'm notlooking forward to it. One word: Mochas!

    Posted by: Charlene at April 23, 2004 09:17 AM

    I'm sorry you're suffering the way you are, I wont be too far behind you. Be nice to yourself!

    Posted by: Anji at April 23, 2004 10:54 AM