Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Litter

Porter Road is a residential street. It could be termed a main artery because it carries a lot of traffic between two main roads, but it is one lane wide in each direction and has businesses at only at its north terminus and the intersection to the south in a commercial district.

Why would anyone throw a McDonald's bag out the window of his silver Porsche 911 into someone's front yard? I can't understand doing something like that on the highway or in a commercial district, let alone someone's front yard. What is the back seat for, if not for trash? No back seat? What is the front passenger side floor for, if not for trash?

And it was a "his silver Porsche 911." How do I know? Because when I pulled up next to the car on Center Ridge Road at Crocker, I looked at him. And he looked at me. And I motioned for him to put his passenger window down as I rolled my window down. And he did. Very affable guy, probably willing to give me directions. He wore a multi-colored, striped polo shirt -- I hate multi-colored, striped polo shirts -- for his round of golf, I imagine. Smiling, obviously very proud of his new, shiny, silver Porsche 911, which has been bastardized, what with the styling that has made it into more of a small metallic lump than a distinctive motor car (but why get into a philosophical dispute with him on the de-evolution of the distinctive 911 when all I'm driving is a white VW Beetle with a black "The Who" sticker on the back bumper?), he asked, "What can I do for you?"

"Dude, can you please go back and pick up that McDonald's bag?"

"F-f-f-fuck you," he said nastily; and he sped off, which would have been much more impressive if he didn't have automatic traction control and would have burned rubber. Now that would have been totally awesome and made a better story.

Posted by Bill at April 27, 2004 09:40 AM