Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

DREAMWEAVER

my mom died 6 years ago. last night i dreamed that we (bill and i and the boys) were in florida visiting with her. we'd been there for a week and had to leave for the long drive home next morning. i was talking to my mom about leaving, she was crying that we hadn't had enough time together. i said that since we drove down in two cars that maybe the boys could leave the next morning, and i'd stay another week. this didn't seem to comfort her. she asked if i knew anyone named "heather kemp." i said no and asked who she was. mom said, "she's my daughter."

i didn't really freak out at this in my dream, but i was surprised. somebody else might freak out at this, but, oh no, not me. you see, there's a history here.

my bio parents (mom and bio-dad) wound up being married for about 17 years. they were together for maybe 10 of those. then mom met the "step-dad person." i don't know why it took so long for them to get divorced; but when mom got pregnant with s-d's child, she was still married to b-d. so the birth certificate listed b-d as the father. for some reason, mom brought the baby boy home from the hospital (i was 8), but within 10 days, she and s-d gave him up for adoption. [now i'm wondering exactly how s-d could have signed away any rights, as he was not on the birth certificate. another mystery.] this was just a little confusing and weird (and sad) for me and my sisters. heh. anyway, 5 years later, after they were able to marry, they had another baby boy, J, and kept him.

my sisters and i always remembered the other baby, tried not to think about him. many years later - J was in his late twenties, J's best friend is in a bar and thinks he sees J sitting at the bar. he goes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "bro! what's up?" the guy turns around, best friend sees it's just a J look-alike and apologizes telling him he could be J's twin. the guy says, "that's funny, cuz i was adopted. i've been trying to find my birth family, but i've hit a wall." somehow or other, best friend gets this guy and J together. they look like freaking twins. one brunette, one blonde. 5 years apart.

the nurse who filled out the birth certificate had filled in the b-d's name wrong, and he was getting nowhere. until this freak meeting.

mom died a year later, without having been reunited with first son. sisters and i met him at mom's funeral. freaky. sorry i keep saying that word - freaky. YOU find a better adjective. i dare ya.

back to the dream. so i'm all like "another daughter?" hmmm. and so i go to the garage where all of a sudden (you know how dreams are), one of my big sisters is there. i ask her if she knows "heather kemp." she says, "sure, she's nichole's mom!" wtf? "she's 58 years old."

the alarm goes off. bill wants to know why i'm in such a bad mood already. duh! here's the list:

i did NOT want to have this dream with my mom crying that we didn't have enough time together

who the hell is heather?

who the hell is nichole?

now i have to ask my sisters if they know a heather or nichole. you KNOW i do.

58? that would be my mom's first child!

it was a DREAM for fuck's sake! forget it!

duh! the alarm went off!

note: i do NOT make this stuff up. i swear to god, this whole thing is a true story!

Posted by Stacey at May 12, 2004 10:39 AM