the gay marriage "thing" is a big news item again lately. and jax wrote about a possible suicide in our area where rumors are flying at the high school that the boy was questioning his sexuality and worried that "god wouldn't love him." now, i do NOT know anything at all about this boy at the high school, but it just got me thinking about this whole thing again. i'm gonna lay it all out for you. my thoughts. MY beliefs.
#1. homosexuality has always been. always will be. hear me again. there will ALWAYS be a certain percentage of the human race that are homosexual. always.
#2. homosexuality DOES NOT EQUAL pedophilia. there are heterosexual pedophiles, homosexual pedophiles, priest pedophiles, teacher pedophiles, and garbage collector pedophiles. the adjective has NOTHING whatsoever to do with the noun. non-predator homosexuals (just like non-predator heterosexuals) want other homosexuals. tell me you haven't heard a hetero guy say something "admiring" about a lesbian. most people shrug it off. no big deal. but if a homosexual says the same thing about a hetero, boy oh boy, does the crap fly. this is not predatory behavior, people. get over it. nobody's trying to recruit straight people over to the other side.
#3. this is the big one for me. if you accept that there will be a certain number of human beings who will be homosexual (#1) and that homosexuals are not predatory by nature (#2) [if you don't accept these premises, you're pretty much hopeless. and brain dead. in my humble opinion.] given these FACTS -- oh yes they are FACTS - how can we say to a human being: if you realize that you are homosexual, understand that you will never have the right to love and commit to another homosexual person in the same way that WE can. WE are normal. YOU are a horrible mistake. YOU must live unloved and unfulfilled as a human being. live in OUR world. in OUR WORLD, only heterosexuals may marry. that's OUR sacred right. i don't know about you - but *i* believe that there's room for all kinds of people.
so YOU have a choice. two alternatives.
ONE: you do not accept facts. therefore - you are ignorant.
TWO: if you accept the facts, but believe that marriage is only for heterosexuals, you're just a mean, close-minded bastard. allowing homosexuals to marry doesn't demean you or your marriage. your position against gay marriage demeans you.
and this: don't tell me what your bible/priest/dogma/religion tells you. you need to accept the FACT that we are not a christian, jewish, muslim, wiccan, satanist - whatever you are - nation. that is what separation of church and state means.
imho.
edit: i see that the comments are getting into religion.
there are differences between a religious marriage and a legally sanctioned marriage. religious marriages are recognized legally, but the converse is not necessarily true. look at the catholic sacrament of marriage. there are very specific values and steps that must be accomplished in order to be married in the catholic sense. and the legal concept of divorce is not recognized in the catholic church. unless a catholic marriage has been annulled, it cannot be dissolved.
why is it so hard to distinguish between the two? why cannot homosexuals be married legally without it "demeaning" the sacrament of the catholic church. or any other church's belief system. if a couple does not meet the criteria of a religious marriage -- fine. they're not asking for that. neither did we.
i don't see a problem with the dichotomy. maybe that's just me. a lapsed catholic. one who left the church when a MAN (ok, a priest) denied my little sister absolution at confession because in the eyes of the catholic church, our mother and her husband were still married to their first spouses (they only went through LEGAL divorces). what that had to do with my sister's prayer for absolution, i'll NEVER understand. i guess this guy misinterpreted some scripture? could this be possible? so don't TELL ME WHAT YOUR BIBLE SAYS. i don't care what some men say jesus told them. i don't care. i don't believe jesus was the son of god. i don't deny you the right to your religious version of marriage -- as long as you're not hurting anybody. get your religious views out of my life.
but there MUST be a legal institution of marriage. maybe if the majority of people in this MOSTLY CHRISTIAN nation behaved in a christian manner regarding marriage and offspring, the law wouldn't have to be involved. cuz i don't think that the high divorce rate can be linked to only non-christians. i'm just guessing here -- there are a hell of a lot of christians not behaving very christ-like in their divorce and child-support proceedings. so my advice here to religious leaders: clean your own house before you come to MINE and tell ME what's wrong in MY HOUSE.
so don't talk to me about RELIGION. talk to me about the law. and the values of a compassionate, accepting, LOVING culture that we pretend to be. gah.
OK, to get a fuss started--I don't think the government should be involved in marriage. It should be a religious thing. Then each religion picks its qualifications, based on what it believes or doesn't believe. Insurance companies decide who they'll cover and who they won't.
Posted by: TW at May 20, 2004 02:26 PMAs far as marriage goes I could care less if they have a civil ceremony saying they are husband and husband or whatever. Here is where it get's sticky though. I am a Christian and I do believe that homosexuality is wrong, that said I also believe that they are human beings and deserve to be treated as such. I have a gay friend, used to be plural but aids took one away, he knows my position on his preference, but he also knows that I feel he has a right to do whatever the hell he wants as long as it causes no impositions on anyone else.
Eventually this country will collapse under the weight of too many different beliefs and tring to satisfy them all. All we can do at this point is sit back and watch it happen as many are blinded by their zeal to change things to their liking!
This is why I don't do political posts as I know this will piss off someone when I don't mean for it to.
Posted by: Jeff A at May 20, 2004 02:38 PMTwo subjects I stay clear of - politics and religion but only because if one writes about it in a blog, you are never able to put across in words, what a facial expression or tone of voice can express. God gave us the freedom of choice and by doing that, He did not take away His love because we chose something the Church opposes. I compared my mother's bible and a new bible and it is remarkable how changing a word can alter a meaning of a scripture. Religion in my mind therefore is God-given but man-made. Jesus befriended a prostitute so why would God not love the gay people? I say live and let live. We have bigger fish to fry and more important issues to contend with.
Posted by: Michelle at May 20, 2004 03:32 PMThat was a great post Stacey - I forgot to mention it previously.
Posted by: Michelle at May 20, 2004 03:34 PMAmen, Stacey.
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at May 20, 2004 10:56 PMjust so as you now. you rule. you should win some "cool mom" award. seriously.
Posted by: jenB at May 21, 2004 01:04 AMI agree with you Stacey. I think that too many people take heterosexual marriage lightly these days. About the church. If you want to be a priest or vicar or whatever, you have to prove that you've been called. The fact that there are homsexual priests means that God called them, right? (You can say the same for women too!)
Posted by: Anji at May 21, 2004 02:09 AMA great post!!!!
Posted by: Anji at May 21, 2004 02:09 AMA great post!!!!
Posted by: Anji at May 21, 2004 02:09 AMSee, I told you I would piss off someone!
Posted by: Jeff A at May 21, 2004 02:13 AMLOL Jeff A - I don't think anyone is pissed off with you, at least I hope you were not thinking I was, because I'm not *wink*.
Posted by: Michelle at May 21, 2004 02:30 AMThank you Stacey! It's hard work being a member of such a despised group, when I just spend my days loving my partner and daughter, working hard at my job, doing laundry, and other "normal" activities. I just mind my own business, yet every single day I hear some sort of comment, news story, joke, or diatribe about how I'm evil. It really wears on a person after awhile. Your post was a bright spot and very much appreciated.....funny since we don't even know each other!!
Posted by: moonandsun at May 21, 2004 02:42 PMGreat post, Stacey. I'm afraid I don't even see our culture PRETENDING to be compassiontate and loving anymore. :(
Posted by: Keri at May 21, 2004 04:38 PMi so completely agree and your said it so well, i have nothing to add, other than you rule mama.
Posted by: jenB at May 29, 2004 02:55 AMyooohoooo Stacey girl, get your cute litte ass back in here damnit!
Posted by: Charlene at May 31, 2004 11:17 AMwhen did it become queer to love another human being?
I so did not get that memo.
Posted by: todd at May 31, 2004 11:43 AM*tap* *tap*
is this thing on? where are you stacey?!?!?!?
Posted by: Kathy Howe at June 1, 2004 08:32 AM