September 23, 2004

APOLOGY? NOT AN APOLOGY? YOU DECIDE...

i don’t know. i hope you’ll tell me if i’m wrong. i try to be rational and reasonable about this stuff, but i seem to be getting more and more defensive about the handicapped parking space thing.

i work in an office building with a large parking lot. plenty of spaces for all the people who work in this building. and there are 4 very nice handicapped parking spots. for the most part, only 2 people use those spaces all day long. there is a dental office and a real estate title office where there are visitors quickly in and out, some of whom have handicapped placards.

my point is that there are plenty of parking spaces available to non-handicapped people AND handicapped people. obviously, the handicapped entrance is more convenient than most spaces – the most convenient spaces are “reserved” spots.

often, probably once a week, there is a car or a truck parked in the handicapped spot. these drivers can be categorized as follows:

  • ”i just had to run in and drop off/pick up something! i was only here for 4 minutes at the most!”
  • ”i’m not parked. i’m just picking up someone.”
  • ”i’m delivering something to suite xxx. they SAID i could park here!”
  • ”i’m a repairman/mailman/any kind of service person. i am a higher form of life than a normal human. i can park anywhere i wish, including the middle of the road.”
  • ”i have a CHILD/BABY. what do you want me to do? walk all the way across the parking lot with him/her?” this one ESPECIALLY bugs me, as i used to be a non-handicapped woman with young children.
  • ”i left my car running; therefore, i’m not really parked.”
  • ”i’m old. see? isn’t THAT who these spots are really for?”
  • ”i hurt my ankle/knee/toe/foot/leg/arm/hand/ear/ohgod i could go on and on whining. is that what you want?”

    in MY mind, none of these are good enough excuses. none of them. especially the last one. because you can get a temporary (red) handicapped parking placard for practically ANYTHING. in about 2 minutes. ask your doctor.

    so last week, the manager of the telemarketing office down the hall [if you know anybody who’s worked in telemarketing, that means she’s “managed” to let go of 20 percent of the staff each week so that no employee ever earns what they’ve been promised they can and will make] was parked in one of the spots. she was not in the car. i walked out to bill and the beetle waiting for me in a non-handicapped spot not three feet away from the handicapped spot in which she was parked. and waited. she came out a couple minutes later. i asked her if she knew what the spots were for. she said, “i apologize. i had to drop off something quickly. i was only parked here for 10 minutes.” i told her that i didn’t care how long she was parked there, the spaces were for handicapped parkers only. she flipped out. started yelling that she HAD apologized. what did i want from her? bill and i left her to her freakout and went home.

    so here’s my question. i HEARD her say, “i apologize.” but then i heard rationalizations and, i guess, in her mind, the reasonable expected usage of the spot. thus, my reply. why do you apologize if you think what you did was reasonable?

    am i losing perspective, dear readers?

    Posted by Stacey at September 23, 2004 05:12 PM
  • Comments

    NO, you are not losing perspective.

    Hmmm...I suppose it was sort of an apology-- an admission of wrongdoing.

    And I, too, don't care how long people are there-- those spots are reserved for people who have in their possession either a license plate or a red thing hanging from their rearview mirror that says they can park there. Otherwise it is a ticketable offense. Period. I have NEVER parked in a handicapped spot (unless I'm with my mother or grandmother, both of whom have the designated permission and need the spots). I just wouldn't do it. It is beyond gauche.

    And it's not just that I have relatives who need such spots. Or a close, dear friend who had a massive stroke last year and needs the spots. Even before then, I couldn't imagine. The blue lines are just a taboo I won't cross. Maybe it's partly superstition.

    Oh for crying out loud, I had three kids in four years, and I NEVER used a handicapped spot. I was not handicapped.

    I also do not ever say my children are sick when they are not, and if I ever fib and say that I am sick when I am not, then inevitably I get sick for real.

    Karma is a dangerous, dangerous thing, and all of those people are playing with it.

    I don't even like it when medical students park in my spot, which is not a handicapped spot, but it is MY spot. And I always report them.

    I'm sorry, I have been working on a report all day and I'm taking it out on all of those people in your spot.

    Posted by: Jen at September 23, 2004 05:55 PM

    Ha! That certainly was NOT an apology. That was something along the lines of, "I am special and rules don't apply to me because I am so important and anyway I wasn't there all day and YOU don't look as handicapped as my Great-Aunt Matilda so why are you bothering me and making me feel like a loser instead of the very important person that I am?"

    I was raised to believe that those spots are sacred, as well as the "big" restroom stalls. My parents now have a blue card for their car, due to my dad's various ailments. My mom, bless her heart, takes the card down if my dad isn't in the car.

    Feel free to rant and rave at these self-centered people. Some of them are probably basically decent people that might actually learn something from your comments!!

    Posted by: moonandsun at September 23, 2004 07:07 PM

    Of course you are not losing perspective. If all it took to park there was an apology followed by an excuse, there would be no place for the handicapped person to park. Ever.

    She wasn't apologizing. She was grandstanding to fill up the airspace with noise sounding like reasonable stuff that you would just HAVE to understand if you were a reasonable person.

    Fight on, Stacey. You've got to be getting through to some of them and gaining a parking spot or two that wouldn't have been there for someone had you not spoken up.

    Posted by: Keri at September 23, 2004 07:45 PM

    You have not now nor do I doubt you will ever lose your perspective on this. It irritates me to no end when people do that. I really like what Bill did with the picture of the mail truck. Maybe we could have patrols of people with digital cameras just record things like that. If you can get their liscence plate and the sign for the spot in the same shot. It may not have legal standing but I imagine that when people saw it happening they may think twice about parking there, then again a lot of people are a$$holes!

    Posted by: Jeff A at September 24, 2004 06:38 AM

    This was not an apology, it was an evasion. People say "i'm sorry" a lot; jews at this time of year are supposed to be saying it to everybody. But it's MEANINGLESS without a commitment to correct the underlying problem. If you go and punch someone in the face because she parked in your parking space, then say "I'm sorry," and repeat the process till you feel better, those apologies do not merit that name. When this trafficker in human flesh and the hard sell told you she was sorry, she was only sorry that you'd CAUGHT her. She was looking for dispensation, not corrective action. It's the inherent selfishness that makes Americans so popular around the world.

    Rip 'er a new one. That bitch sucks.

    Posted by: dan at September 24, 2004 11:22 AM

    Yeah! What dan said. He always says it better.

    Posted by: jenB at September 24, 2004 08:59 PM

    When I spot a vehicle parked in a handicap reserved spot on campus, I stand right there and call security -- just hoping the miscreant dares to show up and argue. (I know no fear.) In fact, I happily watched one get towed away yesterday. Boy, did that feel good. Hehe.

    Posted by: philip at September 24, 2004 10:38 PM

    Some people use the word apologise and think it is a magic work which will forgive all of their sins It's too easy. I think you're right!!

    Posted by: Anji at September 25, 2004 04:34 AM