January 10, 2005

NON ILLIGITIMATI CARBORUNDUM

ok, i SAY that up there, but i have to admit, they ARE wearing me down. yesterday, within ten minutes, i had to confront FOUR handicapped parking offenders. four. and there are only two handicapped parking spaces at this store.

we arrived to THREE cars occupying the two marked spots AND the lined-out area between the two spots (everybody knows that area is there to allow extra room to enter/exit your vehicle, absolutely essential if you are in a wheelchair). bill pulls up behind the two people who've entered their vehicles to leave the spaces. but i want a word (or two) with them, so bill blocks them from leaving.

  • car number one: mini van with a woman about my age.
    me: do you have a handicapped placard?
    scofflaw #1: no. i was just in there for a couple minutes, and there were no other spaces available. this is a lie. there are many spaces around the other side.
    me: oh. this spot is reserved for people who only are in starbucks for a couple minutes when no other spaces are available?
    her: no, but i was just in there for a couple of minutes.
    me: i don't care. it's a spot for handicapped patrons.
    her: i'm sorry. i won't do it again. i'll move if you move your car.
    me: i'll move after i have a word with this other person parked in the handicapped spot next to you. please don't do it again.
    her: i won't. thank you. sorry.

    i move to car number two.

  • another minivan with another woman driver about my age. this van has bumper and window stickers to loyola university, holy cross college, saint ignatius high school (THE rival to matt and mark's st. edward's high school), and another cleveland catholic girl's high school (can't remember which one). i move to the passenger window, however, where the passenger is obviously the ignatius brat. arrogant little ignatius prick (by definition). this van is parked in the striped-off area between the two handicapped spots.

    me: do you have a handicapped placard?
    little ignatius prick: this is not a handicapped spot.
    me: it sure as hell is.
    little ignatius prick: there's no sign.
    me: it's marked off between the spots to allow wheelchair access.
    little ignatius prick: there's no sign.
    me: loyola? holy cross? ignatius? nice christian behavior.
    little ignatius prick: there's no sign.
    me: i guess only ed's people understand this concept. it appears to be beyond you.

    i move away and ask bill to move the car and pull into the handicapped spot. at the door are a young man and woman looking out, watching the ruckus.

  • me (to the guy): is that you parked in that handicapped spot?
    guy: yes
    me: are you handicapped?
    guy: no, i'll be done in a minute after my drink is ready.
    me: i'd like you to move now, or i'll call the police.
    guy: what's your problem?
    me: my problem is that you're parked in a handicapped spot.
    guy: there were no other spots open. lie.
    me: and there was no spot for ME to park until you idiots moved.
    guy: you have a real problem, lady.
    me: asshole.

    we go inside. order our drinks. sit for maybe 5 minutes when a car with no placard pulls into the other handicapped spot.

  • young woman (20's) walks to door. we move to greet her at door.

    me: do you have a handicapped placard?
    her: what?
    me: do you have a handicapped placard?
    her: what?
    me: did you just park in the handicapped spot?
    her: yes.
    me: are you handicapped?
    her: no. i'll just be in for a minute, and then i'll be gone.
    me: it's not a spot for people in a hurry. move it now, or i'll call the police.
    her: you don't have to be so rude. all you had to do was ask politely.
    me: you mean like i tried to do when i started by asking if you have a placard?
    her: i didn't understand. what's your problem?
    me: my problem is that you're the fourth person i've had to ask to move out of the handicapped spot today.
    her: what do you do - sit here all day so you can catch people?
    me: i wish. you're the fourth person in ten minutes.
    her: you've got a problem, lady.
    me: walk a mile in my shoes.
    her: i've had broken bones and other injuries!
    me: did you recover?
    her: it took a long time!
    me: that's not a handicap.
    her: you're fucked up, lady.

    i wish i could say that i thought of something to cut her off at the ankles. but nooooo i said:

    "YOU'RE fucked up!"

    i'm getting tired of this. help me out here, people.

    Posted by Stacey at January 10, 2005 02:26 PM
  • Comments

    Oh, Stacey, you are my hero!

    Wow, that really takes guts! Do you have a physical reaction at all like heart racing or sweating? I do sometimes when I stand up for myself, which makes me dread it. Total adrenaline reaction. But I really really admire you and it makes me want to do it more often.

    Good for you!!!!

    Posted by: Jen at January 10, 2005 03:17 PM

    If I were you I'd make a trip to the local police department. Tell them about what happened and ask that they patrol that particular lot a little more paying special attention to the Starbucks side of the lot.

    Then I'd go talk to Starbucks management. Ask them if they would be willing to put a sign on their door that indicates that they do NOT support able-bodied people parking in those handicapped spots when they are running in for a quick mocha.

    Posted by: Kathy Howe at January 10, 2005 03:42 PM

    What Jen said AND what Kathy said. You are totally the bravest being able to confront people about it like that. I'd be blubbering all over. I'm sure it's different actually needing the spots and not having them because of the pricks who are parking there. I love the idea of Starbuck's putting out the sign. And they love YOU, so I think they'd do it. At least they SHOULD. Try them.

    Posted by: Keri at January 10, 2005 10:59 PM

    Like the others said. Perhaps they need that fix of caffeine so desperately......

    Posted by: Anji at January 11, 2005 07:50 AM

    What a horrible incident you had to endure and the name-calling was disgusting. I agree with Kathy - take it further. You have to endure so much in your life, you certainly do not have to put up with such treatment. (((hugs)))

    Posted by: Michelle at January 11, 2005 03:21 PM

    I like the "No, YOU are." comment, but that's probably because I have teenagers. (*snort*)

    You could make stickers that say, "Handicapped? No, I just park in those spots because I'm a lazy, inconsiderate idiot." Then, when an offender comes in to Starbucks you can go up to them when they're at the counter (and who wants to offend the barista?) and gently place it on their shirt/sweater/jacket. Send Bill out to tape a similar sign onto their back window. If you're lucky, they won't see it and will drive around all day spreading the shame.

    ..and I'd call the police, and suggest that a great way to make some quick revenue for the city is to quietly hang out at the local Starbucks and nab all the idjits who park illegally. Go to a city traffic and parking committee meeting and complain that the laws aren't being enforced. Go to several. Write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper.

    In other words, go get 'em!

    Posted by: lucy at January 11, 2005 04:15 PM

    Three words Stacey, Smith and Wesson!

    Seriously though I admire what you are doing here. I am a gutless wonder and would never be able to confront people this way!

    Posted by: Jeff A at January 11, 2005 04:28 PM

    I SO like the way you handle this. Polite, asking them to explain, then, POW! My best friend has a severely disabled child who uses a wheelchair. My friend has been abused twice by people who saw her get out of their van, didn't check for a placard, and then screamed at her until they saw her getting her daughter's wheelchair out of their van and then getting her daughter. Neither apologized. You have such class.

    Posted by: TW at January 11, 2005 09:39 PM

    I cannot believe there were so many people doing this. I have nevered parked in a handicap spot. There was a Seinfeld I saw recently about this.

    I am with Lucy, if you have the energy for it. The government always responds to opportunities for creating revenue.

    I especially like the bumper sticker idea. It reminds me of a work by Adrian Piper.

    Posted by: Areca at January 12, 2005 12:23 AM

    thanks for all your nice comments and suggestions. bill's been wanting to do a STICKER for these cars. i like the idea of the sign better. AND i do think i am going to write a letter to starbucks asking them to post another sign. dammit. it's so frustrating. i hate going around itching for a fight all the time. it's not REALLY like i'm itching for a fight -- it's just that i get so pissed off when i see this. and people feel just fine about doing this -- especially in a place where they think it'll "just be a couple minutes." i really am frustrated. the times i've gotten the police involved have been frustrating, too; as the officer will act as though it's no big deal and warn the people off -- if you even get a response. i don't know. i TRY to be polite -- i'm not always successful. why do these people deserve my courtesy anyway?? it's not like they don't know what they're doing. hrmph.

    Posted by: stacey at January 12, 2005 12:41 PM

    I love my little digital camera, yes I do. Why? Take a photograph of the car showing the license plate AND the no placard/hangtag (here in California you can get a temporary handicapped thingy that goes on the dash) and

    PRINT THAT SUCKER OUT with a label for each one:

    "The driver of this vehicle illegally parked in a handicapped space because he or she is a lazy, inconsiderate narcissist."

    Posted by: Liz at January 17, 2005 03:33 AM

    oh god. i love the bumper sticker idea. just stick it RIGHT ON THEIR DAMN BUMPER!!!! something tough for them to get off that they won't notice right away. hehehe. booya. you rock stace.

    Posted by: Keri at January 19, 2005 12:58 PM