Stacey controls the clicker as I write this. 8:34 p.m. -- Chris Rock just bit the big one. James Lipton, he of the Actors' Studio, is interviewing Will Smith. Jiggy.
Speaking of Will Smith, I took the bionic woman this afternoon to see Will in his latest flick, Hitch, which was definitely way better than Chris Rock's last movie, Head of State. I recommend the movie, even though the guy who got Amber Valletta in the end wore a fucking rug. On second thought, I recommend it for matinee viewing. Don't spend top dollar to see it.
She turned the Oscars back on and returned control of the television set to me ... with "I'm going to sleep." Cate Blanchett just won for Best Supporting Actress. She was pregnant last time I saw her. Cate looked much better pregnant. And if she appears way too skinny on TV, just think how emaciated she must be in real life.
I don't watch Bill Maher's show very often, but I did catch it last night on HBO57. Well, that's Heinz that has 57 varieties, but HBO is getting there. In fact, this is the second time I have ever seen the show. Does Bill Maher hear anything that anyone else says? He laughs at his own jokes and hears only what he wants to hear. Hell, I have been accused of that. I could host a "talk show."
Since some blog readers do not watch television (You missed Josh Groban), I have a kitchen tip. Say, you sliced the outer edge of your right thumb just near the nail about a week ago. You had to keep a band-aid on it for a few days because it continued to bleed. Finally, when it stopped bleeding and you removed the band-aid (not the same one from the first day) a couple days later, the flap of skin sort of came off all by itself when you picked at it; but it didn't start bleeding too bad and you put a band-aid on it for a day. Really, the kitchen tip is coming up.
Today, after taking your shower, but before seeing a movie, you decide to leave the cut on your thumb open because it looks pretty well healed. Then, when you get home from the matinee, you decide to make some breaded beef cutlets with the thin-sliced round steak you bought at Fernengel's Meats at the West Side Market; and you, of course, need to grate some Parmeggiano Reggiano for the bread crumb mixture.
Here is your kitchen tip:
When you use your microplane grater, remember that this converted carpentry tool, which is used to shave down a piece of wood, like oak, to make tight joints, has a "razor-sharp stainless steel blade;" and if you are a real doofus and you microplane your right thumb with it in the exact spot you sliced a piece off earlier in the week, you will bleed like a stuck pig.
By the way, I plan to see the movie, Robots, even though every item at the grocery store that might be deemed a kid food has those fucking Robots on the packaging, and even though I am sick of the fucking stuff already. BUT "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who was the soundtrack for the trailer.
Posted by Bill at February 27, 2005 11:03 PMI don't usually try to top others stuff but...
I used to work in a restaurant, 8 years. And I can tell you some horror stories about that damnable meat slicer. I still to this day cannot eat sliced beef!
Posted by: Jeff A at February 28, 2005 06:15 AMAhh, another delightful edition of "As the Stomach Turns..." :) Hope it stops bleeding soon.
Posted by: Keri at February 28, 2005 08:57 AMOMG - my entire body is hurting of reading that. Oh the pain!
I'll see your microplane grater and raise you a rotary cutter.
Posted by: lucy at February 28, 2005 11:17 PMI love you for your comments about Cate Blanchett and I told Kazoofus about missing Josh too!
Posted by: jen at March 1, 2005 12:27 AMI just wondered what would have happened if the microplane grater had been electric.
Posted by: Anji at March 1, 2005 02:45 AM