Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

I Eat Heavy Metal

Dude ... I wanted to stop and chat, but I was in a hurry and you were on your way out, because I couldn't help but notice that you were wearing a 2001 Ironman Triathalon Florida cycling jersey; and I know this woman in my therapy group on Mondays nights who finished the Ironman Triathalon in Lake Placid a couple weeks ago, and I thought maybe you knew her.

She's about 5-8 or 5-9, you know, like 8 or 9 inches taller than you. And she's pretty muscular, probably got 40 pounds on you. Oh, that's not to say you're not muscular, dude. For your size, you probably are pretty strong. No doubt about that, dude; they say that about ants, don't they ... that they're strong for their size.

This lady I mentioned ... she's got really short, dark hair ... like I say, maybe you know her. She says that she thinks her OCD, that's obsessive compulsive disorder in psychology parlance, contributes to her competing in the triathalons and other demanding events she has entered.

I guess then, dude, that particular fact really begs the question of why you got into the 2001 Ironman Triathalon Florida. I see the teenager socks you're wearing, like the socks I wear for golf when I also wear shorts, nothing like the skin-tight spandex shorts you're wearing ... those teenager socks have 2001 Ironman Triathalon Florida printed on the little ribbed tops. Did you have to buy those socks? I wonder.

It seems like you're really proud of being in that event ... and, believe me when I say this, well you should be proud. It's really amazing, kind of like climbing Mount Everest and risking your health and well-being ... some people say that takes courage. Guts. I guess you got that going for you.

Hemingway, I think, said, or maybe he wrote, "Guts is grace under pressure." I've often thought about that phrase since I first heard it way back in the day ... I personally have seen only one situation where I think the definition could be used. That's not to say I haven't heard of people in other circumstances where the definition applies ... William Foster covered a live grenade with his body and saved a lot of lives -- that would be "grace under pressure."

I'm sorry, dude. What you did wasn't courageous. What my wife did ... what women do when they give birth -- that is "grace under pressure."

So, dude, the question remains open. Why did you do it ... and why do you continue to wear the uniform, the outfit, some four years later?

I'll tell you. It's the same reason you believe you have some badge of entitlement granted by the Almighty allowing you to call the gawky bagger kid an idiot for smashing the bread with your wheat germ ... or whatever the fuck you were buying.

Now, dude, I’ve had some experience concerning the diagnosis of psychological disorders, but there’s no diagnosis in DSM-IV that covers your particular problem, but there should be. I guess it could be subsumed under some type of adjustment disorder; but I have a specific name for the specific problem you have … you, dude, suffer from "The Small Man Syndrome."

Posted by Bill at August 10, 2005 10:12 PM