September 02, 2005

Big Chief Trouble

I needed something called a Manufacturer's Certificate of Origin to get the Big Chief titled. That is coming in the mail and should be here today, meaning I'll finally get to ride my motor scooter.

Now, if I had been riding the scooter last night after dark, not saying that I was, just to break it in, and turned around in the VFW Hall parking lot, passing a car while I was going in the out way, which to those aged WW2 vets is one of the most egregious offenses known, I suppose that VFW motorist could have notified the police that some grinning, bald idiot was riding an unregistered motor scooter and waving to him on the hallowed ground of his beloved VFW Post.

That could have happened. And then if I had been riding the scooter last night after dark, not saying that I was, I would have driven through the Giant Eagle parking lot and spotted one police car pulling in the north driveway; so if I had been riding the scooter last night after dark, not saying that I was, I would have raced down the south driveway across the road into the church driveway, around the back of the church, and into the church parking lot, turning off the lights, then up the other driveway to get out, whereupon I would have encountered a second police car, just driving past the church exit driveway.

At that point, if I had been riding the scooter last night after dark, not saying that I was, I would have turned around and headed for the farthest, darkest end of the parking lot and laid low for about 15 or 20 minutes; then I would have checked up each driveway to see if the coast was clear and made a run for the back street to my house.

I just want to point out that I'm not a stupid, fucking teenager, y'know. Why would I be out doing something so imbecilic as taking my unregistered motor scooter for a ride last night? How would it look if I had been picked up by the police and carted off to jail?

Posted by Bill at September 2, 2005 11:42 AM
Comments

If you WERE that daredevil, and I'm not sayin' that you were, then I would say you were probably born to be wild.


Move over Bandidos, Bad Bill's in the house!

Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at September 2, 2005 11:01 PM

Answer to Question #1: Because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Answer to Question #2: It would be pretty damn funny to the rest of us, even if you (and Miz "I got your bail money right here, bubba" Stacey) didn't.

You're so, so...rebellious. ;-)

Posted by: lucy at September 4, 2005 12:10 AM

You are hilarious Bill. I can just imagine you hiding out in a dark alley waiting for the coast to clear.

Posted by: Michelle at September 4, 2005 05:16 PM

I so want to see a picture of Mr. Bill on his Big Chief with the Who bumper stickers front AND back.

And I'm still totally jealous.

Posted by: Keri at September 8, 2005 03:47 PM