Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Road Kill

Cargill Meat Solutions.

I was driving back from Sandusky on Route 2, somewhere around Vermilion, minding my own business, when I saw a white tractor-trailer with that simple inscription on it. What did it mean?

I'm thinking that the truck was loaded with a bunch of big vats of some kind of liquid with meat soaking in it. My dad used to pick out something called "headcheese" from the meat counter. I always wondered where headcheese came from and what it might have been made of. After all, it was not really cheese; it was some form of meat or meat by-product ... from another planet. It always looked the same. And I never heard my dad say, "Gee, that headcheese really looks good today; how about slicing up another pound for me, Paolo?" or "Heck, Diana, this headcheese we got this week is really good!" No, I never heard my dad say things like that.

Meat solutions ... headcheese. This must be where headcheese comes from. But who in his or her right mind thought to name the stuff headcheese. And what exactly is it made from? I must admit that I never tasted headcheese. Hell, I averted my gaze whenever possible. My dad never turned to stone, but I couldn't be too careful. Come to think of it, I only saw the amalgam behind the glass of the meat case, which means I never really looked directly upon headcheese. I don't know what headcheese smells like, either. I never got close enough to catch a whiff, and the smell of freshly-baked Italian bread at the only store that carried it effectively masked any odor that might have been there. My dad never prevailed upon me to make him a headcheese sandwich; if he did, I might have moved out of the house. Do you go to a deli and ask the guy behind the counter for a headcheese and Swiss on rye with lettuce, tomato, and mayo? Or is mustard the condiment of choice? I've never seen it on the menu at Max's Deli.

And frankly, I am afraid to Google it. What insane person thought of making headcheese? And why? It's definitely not cheese. From what I can remember, and it seems like something from a nightmare, a vague and beclouded recollection from the deep recesses of my memory, little chunks of unidentifiable meat, I guess, are suspended in a translucent, gel-like substance, unknowable except by expert chemical analysis. So, could it possibly be made out of the ... heads ... of various animals, a cruel food joke played upon some unsuspecting picky eater of a little kid by his putatively loving mother, institutionalized over the centuries? Just thinking of that totally sends chills up my spine. I know mothers out there who are crafty enough ... and evil enough ... to do that.

MEAT SOLUTIONS. Is Cargill's goal to end world hunger or turn someone into a vegetarian?

Posted by Bill at September 24, 2005 09:19 AM