November 30, 2005

I Need Answers

About six times a week, a Capital One credit card application comes in the mail. Or maybe it's an actual credit card. I don't know, since I throw them out. Will someone please explain to me ... and believe me, I know I'm not the brightest bulb on the block ... what the fuck is it with these Capital One credit card commercials with the stupid fucking Germanic Warriors/ Vikings/ Normans/ Barbarians running around? Is there some connection between Capital One and warrior tribes?

I don't get it. Now, they have these fucking freaky Huns trying to be elves or whatever for Christmas. I don't get it.

These fucking stupid-ass commercials annoy me. And how many cable channels do they run the commercial on at the same time? I change the channel, and the same fucking commercial is on. Fucking annoying.

I have been bombarded by Capital One credit card inducements nearly every day for longer than I can remember. Why the hell would I get a Capital One card if I haven't gotten one by now. Had how is some dumb fuck Celt going to make me get one?

I'm writing this post on my tablet PC, using the handwriting recognition thingy to input the text. You would think that the computer would recognize the word "fucking" and all of its conjugations by now. I've had it almost a year, and it hasn't picked up on the proper spelling of the word.

The word is not "flicking." The word is not "facing." The word is not "faking." Or "trucking." Or "braking." Or "tucking," "tuck," or "tucked." Is this censorship by Microsoft or whatever company wrote the program? Bill Gates doesn't like the flicking word ... See? Dumb tucking program ... See? Mother tucker. Damn it! See? It does "damn." Why not flick?

Can someone please answer these questions for me? After all, it is the holiday season. There might be something in it for you. Hand-dipped chocolate-covered Double Stuff Oreos, cashew brittle, stuff like that.

Posted by Bill at November 30, 2005 11:00 PM
Comments

Its an evil distraction brought on my George W to get your mind off the horrors of the war in Iraq.

Do you need my address to send my prize?
;)

-d

Posted by: -d at November 30, 2005 11:20 PM

You must have a family friendly spell checker.

Posted by: Anji at December 1, 2005 05:31 AM

Maybe someone could convince Bush that the terrists are over here now -- dressed as pilaging Hun -- so we don't have to fight them over there to avoid fighting them over here. Then he'd pull out of Iraq and send the Troops after the flicking Vikings in Macy's. (How about that, Google spellcheck doesn't work in pop up windows! Who knew?)

Posted by: Kyle at December 3, 2005 04:15 AM

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing, but I remember your little mishap last year with cashew brittle...this post reminded me of it.

Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at December 3, 2005 11:04 PM