I am so damn gullible stupid. Sheba, the 74-pound boxer, and Bella, the rambunctious, lithe, 11-month-old, 48-pound boxer, were playing tug-of-war with a stuffed monkey ... it used to be stuffed, and it used to have four limbs; but the stuffing has been ripped out of the entire monkey, even the head, and the arms are gone ... and Stacey, the evil one, who at this moment is conspiring with one KathyHowe to have me put down just like a dog because I have voted for Master P after being forced to watch "Dancing With the Stars," suggested that I get down on the floor and play with the dogs because I haven't done that for a while. "It'll be fun," she said.
So, I did. All of a sudden, one of the dogs got very angry; and instead of a three-way tug-of-war, it was two dogs trying to kill each other with me in the middle, trying to separate them. I was successful, pulling Bella away and lifting her up off the ground to about shoulder height, but not before I felt something running down my forehead and dripping off my neanderthal brow. Stacey was concerned ... not about me ... she was worried about Sheba, who was licking her paws. There was blood splattered on the floor ... she said it must be from one of the dogs.
Dogs ... what the fuck. I'm bleeding like a stuck pig with two bite holes in my head and a scratch down my forehead.
Vote Master P at abc.com.
Posted by Bill at January 5, 2006 10:12 PMDude! Some thoughts:
1. Lets not let word travel to my children that your dogs destroyed a toy MONKEY. This will scare them forever since that is the name of their cat.
2. We weren't conspiring as much as we were...uh. Yeah, we were conspiring. Busted.
3. I think I should make Drew Lachey my next boyfriend and he is getting allllllll my votes.
4. Master P and P Ditty aren't one and the same. huh. Who knew?
Posted by: KathyHowe at January 5, 2006 10:19 PMI was expecting stuffing to be coming out.
If they are outside, a bucket of cold water seperates fighting dogs
I must confess. I laughed hysterically at this entry. I can envision the whole thing in my head...and it is really funny!!!
I'm sorry.
Posted by: moonandsun03 at January 6, 2006 12:03 PM"I guess you’re just what I needed
I needed someone to feed
I guess you’re just what I needed
I needed someone to bleed...."
Gee, sorry Bill. Dog bites hurt. And they can be infected very easily. Ah, the joys of pets.
Posted by: Kyle at January 7, 2006 11:38 PMJust to be sure, you might want to lock yourself in the bathroom on the next full moon night...and check your palm for a pentagram tattoo.
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at January 8, 2006 04:40 PMnobody told you to put a monkey leg in your mouth and try to have a tug of war with them.
Posted by: the wife at January 8, 2006 07:46 PMBill, I saw Master P dance last night during a brief stopover at my folks' place. You VOTED for that guy? heh. No wonder they were conspiring. What a silly show. Go George! ;)
Posted by: Keri at January 13, 2006 08:48 AM