I had an inflammatory post all ready to go, then I heard something about the Gillette Fusion razor, a new safety razor -- that's what they were called originally because shaving was somehow safer in one's own hands than in the skilled hands of a trained barber.
I haven't needed a shave in a number of years, having ushered in this beard thing in fashion that is going on as well as helping Michael Jordan decide that bald really is beautiful so that it has come down to men with hair shaving their heads to be fashionable.
I have some knowledge about shaving, though, having been the guinea pig training model for my sister-in-law when she was going to barber school and learning how to give a shave with a straight razor. Although I can't compare the two now, there was nothing closer than the shaves my sister-in-law gave me.
The Gillette Fusion, six micro-thin stainless steel blades in total, five for the face, one for the trimming, powered by a plutonium power source that makes the blades vibrate, buzz, and sweep whiskers away, is supposed to be the ultimate, beating out the four-bladed, battery-powered Schick Quattro, that which is equipped with only four blades, but made of teflon-coated, kevlar-impregnated, gold-plated titanium-steel with built-in lotion dispenser and vacuum cleaner handle.
I don't know how any of you might feel about this, but just what is the point of all of this multi-blade madness; and where will it end? And don't you think that they would have invented a better way -- I mean it's the 21st fucking century, and now it's five times easier than ever to cut yourself ... and it's got power, like a chainsaw. We're not talking about making cars fly, we're talking about a fuckin' razor!
*And to the asshole driving the GMC XXXXL Grand Tahoe who came flying up the St. Clair Avenue hill and turned right while I was crossing with the light and in the crosswalk with the dogs and nearly fucking killed me, next time you will have a significant dent in your fucking gas-hog!*
Posted by Bill at February 9, 2006 10:24 PMPut down the razor and back away from the sink, Billy... You definitely do not want six blades in your hand... Blades that vibrate and buzz? This just brings back memories of Christmas tree lights and trimmers and frightful things.
Posted by: Keri at February 10, 2006 02:58 AMAnd anyway, don't the blades cost like over 4 bucks each? What the fuck????
Posted by: Vicki at February 10, 2006 05:30 PMI vaguely remember one of those old, Saturday Night Live spoof-o-mercials about a new razor with something along the lines of 47 blades.
Posted by: Ellen at February 11, 2006 10:57 PM