Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

This Space Reserved for Golf

The Russian attempt to jettison an old space suit into Earth orbit from the International Space Station with a beacon so that people could track it ... oh, that's educational, I guess ... was an abysmal failure.

Now, the enterprising, capitalistic Russians have come up with a new gimmick to fund the International Space Station. One of the Russians, sponsored by Element 21 Golf Company, will drive a ball off a platform attached to the space station into Earth orbit. There's all kinds of scientific talk about hitting the ball out of the same plane in which the space station orbits. Just what does that mean? It means that the golfer must not skull the shot, that is, hit the middle of the ball with the bottom edge of the six-iron, sending the ball screaming "in the same plane." On Earth, the ball would not be launched into the air, but would zing about two feet off the ground. You don't see the professional or well-heeled amateur golfers do this very often, but the hacker is known to "blade the ball" from a "thin" or "tight" fairway lie around the green quite often, sending the ball zinging over and across the green, while hoping at the same time that it hits the flagstick (not likely) or a fellow golfer who is looking for a ball behind the green (more likely).

Another "same plane" shot could be a shank, in which the ball contacts the hosel of the club and, with a right-handed golfer, can fly low and fast to the right (watching from a vantage point behind the golfer). This shot was made famous by former President Gerald Ford when he nearly killed a spectator while playing with the legendary comedian Bob Hope. Unlike Vice-President Dick Cheney, President Ford made no excuses and took responsibility for his poor shot-making. "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators," Ford once said.

If the Russian golfer should shank the ball sending it careening sidewise, the International Space Station could be damaged. Of course, when I hit golf balls in the back yard when I was younger, the evidence was apparent when I skulled one ... a round dent in the aluminum siding. In the case of the space station, some kind of space debris scientist claims that the ball could collide with the space station at a speed of 20,304 miles per hour, causing destruction of the space station.

A very strong golfer has a swing speed of about 120 miles per hour, which is the speed the clubhead is travelling at impact with the ball. It is axiomatic that a regulation golf ball struck at that swing speed will not exceed a maximum speed of about 180 miles per hour leaving the clubhead, which is what the ball will continue to travel in space relative the space station and the golfer, wearing a space suit and unlikely to be able to achieve a swing speed close to 120 mph, striking the ball. I know the space station is orbiting at about 18,000 miles per hour; so, how does the "expert" come up with a collision in excess of 20,000 miles per hour?

It is obvious that this scientist, this "expert," has never been on a golf course or hit the aluminum siding of a house. The space station has layers of Kevlar, ceramic fabrics, and other advanced materials up to 10 cm thick over its aluminum shell, something my parents' house did not have, which resisted penetration by high-speed projectiles fired by big guns. Unfortunately, a test was not done allowing a 1.62-ounce golf ball to be hit by Boris Morukov into the side of the space station, but I think that high-speed projectile test probably covered that. But I'm no expert scientist ....

Thinking back, though, I was accused of breaking an almost infinite number of basement windows with golf balls, hockey pucks, and baseballs; but I think that the windows in the space station are stronger than the 1/16th inch non-tempered glass in a steel frame that made up the basement windows, which should not create any risk to the spacemen in the space station, even if a wayward shot should hit one of the windows in the space station. In fact, the windows in the space station are made up of four layers of glass, each layer being from 1/2 to 1 1/4 inches thick.

So, where does this "expert" get his figures? And why is he such a naysayer? I'm all for some private company footing part of the space station bill. I just wish NASA would have thought of it, then the U.S. taxpayer's bill would be that much less. And so, I say, "Just do it."

Posted by Bill at March 2, 2006 02:13 PM