Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

The Squirrel

The squirrel is gone. I checked over in the bushes. I checked in the parking lot. I checked in the gutter of the street. It was gone. Old friend ... it had been laying on the apron of the driveway of the parking lot that isn't open since February. It looked as if it was asleep the first time I saw it while walking the dogs, but it wasn't sleeping. It didn't move as the three dogs and I approached from the north. Nope ... it was just laying there ... a dead squirrel. It looked like it was sleeping, though ... well, if squirrels sleep with their eyes open, then it looked like it was sleeping. The tail was all bushy. Hmmm ... it wasn't breathing, either; so, I suppose, technically speaking, it didn't appear to be sleeping because it wasn't taking deep, sleeping breaths. That much I could see.

I'm guessing that it appeared to be dead ... except I'm not really guessing because I knew it wasn't sleeping. And I steered the dogs clear of the squirrel that was laying in the driveway of the closed parking lot, even though they were curious about the squirrel, all three straining for a good look. I'm sure that if one of the dogs had a stick, she would have poked the thing ... just to make sure it was not sleeping.

Except for Scout ... she would have grabbed it and scurried off, growling and snarling, then she would have checked its vital signs. I steered them clear because it looked like it just died. I mean, it wasn't bloated ... of course, it was cold; and maybe the refrigeration-effect of the cold air kept the bloating to well-nigh invisible. And if it just died, it might be contagious ... like in the movies, you know how they burn the bodies ... especially zombies because you just never know if they're really going to stay dead -- but zombies are already dead -- maybe I should say "you just never know if they're really going to stay fucking dead," or something like that so you know I knew about zombies. But that's beside the point because I don't know of any instances where squirrels were zombies.

Anyway, I walked the dogs past that spot where the squirrel lay dead a couple times a week, rain, snow, sleet, or shine; and through all that, the squirrel remained in its spot there on the driveway of the closed parking lot. One night, the parking lot was open; and the squirrel stayed where it was.

I don't mean to imply nor should you infer from my statement immediately above that the squirrel stayed as robust-looking as on that first day I found it. I didn't imply anything of the sort, and you would be wrong about the inference you've drawn. (If you take nothing else from this writing, remember the imply-infer difference; don't be like the local news guy who doesn't know the difference). Nothing exposed to the elements like that without some protection could look the same as on the first day -- look at what happened to that goof in that water-filled sphere, and he was in there under water for what, a week or so? What I'm telling you is that, first, the squirrel's tail hair started to fall out. The squirrel, at that point, looked like a rat -- and that will forever be etched in my mind. Squirrel. Rat. Pretty much the same ... except for the hair on the tail.

And then, the squirrel got kind of ... deflated ... flatter-looking, but not in the crushed-by-a-car sense. It just looked a little flatter and flatter each time we passed by. After several weeks, I didn't even have to steer the dogs around the squirrel ... they just walked by, ignoring the flatter and flatter squirrel body with the hairless tail. The head, it was staying the same size, but the eyes were pretty much really a dull black, not glistening like when we first encountered the squirrel laying there on the driveway.

So, there it was, having its own place on the driveway, like a bear-skin rug ... head sticking up, but with a flat hairy body -- except for the tail -- and except it was a squirrel, not a bear ... and I don't think I've ever seen a squirrel-skin rug -- that would be something I'd remember. But I have seen a flying squirrel exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. And I've seen Lucy there at the museum ... the skeleton, which might be just a model, of the ancient hominid ... Australopithecus afarensis, I think, is her given name ... discovered in Africa by the Johanssen guy who used to be with the Cleveland Museum of Natural History.

But the squirrel laying in the driveway of the closed parking lot didn't really look like a flying squirrel -- or like a hominid -- well, it was just laying there not hung up to make it look like it was flying. Then one day, I don't know how it happened, probably a drunk driver because there are bars in the area, but it was flat ... I mean, flattened like when you smash down a hamburger that you're grilling and it gets flatter ... you know what I'm talking about. Flat, not like before ... but smashed, head kind of crushed. There was no blood or any other kind of juice, but still, it was not a pretty sight ... that was a little over a month ago.

Today, the squirrel was gone. Not a trace. Oh, well.

Posted by Bill at June 21, 2006 08:00 PM