I put up a shelf under the counter where people might ordinarily sit, but don't because there are no chairs there. Why? Because Stacey wanted it. So, I thought I'd be clever. I bought a couple pieces that attach to the wall. The shelf fits right in the groove, kind of a cantilever sort of thing. Well, I have a 1x6 piece of pine that is 87 inches long for the shelf; so, I put up two 36" hanger pieces after I sanded, primed, and painted everything the required wife-approved reddish color.
But the 1x6 was too thick to fit in the fucking groove. Yeah ... my fault ... should have checked closer ... instead of eyeballing it and figuring that I could force the hanger a little to accommoddatte (I have always had a problem with that word. I'm what I'll call a visual speller ... words look right or wrong, except for that word; so, I'll cover all the bases.) the shelf.
That didn't work. My router is in storage. So, I laid out the piece I wanted to chisel out so that the shelf could then fit in the groove. No fucking chisels, either. So, I turned to the only thing I could find. A terrorist tool ... a carpet cutting knife with replaceable double-edged razor blade ... yes, something that can slice open a finger or forearm with one slight slip.
This is ordinarily not a good match ... a sharp, not-appropriate-for-the-job, slicing tool, a woodworking project, and, of course, me. I think that if I had a garage or basement in which to do the work, there would have been a serious bloodletting; but inasmuch as I don't have a garage or a basement to do such work, I had to do the carving job on the new dining area table. A lot of blood on the new rug under the table or the bench Stacey just re-covered yesterday would have been a big mistake. Although we have some of the finest medical facilities in the world right down the street, she would have let me bleed out and donated any viable organs.
I was very careful. For the first time in the recorded history of my life, I did not ... repeat ... did not suffer any injury while working on a household project. I feel terrible reporting this shocking development to my two ever-faithful, bloodlusting readers ... and I promise that it will never happen again.
I will plan some kind of do-it-yourself electrical project in the near future to ensure that you will be entertained.
Posted by Bill at July 20, 2006 09:00 PMI, for one, am glad there was no blood shed. I am also quite thankful no damage was done to Stacey's newly covered bench or the new rug under the table. Count your blessings dude!
Posted by: Trace at July 20, 2006 09:27 PM