Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

You've Got Mail

Back on December 20, our president, exercising some kind of unitary executive authority, about which there is nary a word in the Constitution of the United States of America, decided, in his Decider-mode, that he could open United States Mail any time he gets the feeling that there's something bad in the envelope or package. There was a law passed by his Congress, before some left for Christmas break and some for the unemployment office, which says that a warrant is required to open mail. Bush, in one of his signing statements ... this one saying he's not bound by the law ... said he could do it in an emergency.

So, he says he can open the mail with no warrant. He says he can listen in on phone conversations with no warrant. He says he can hold non-citizens forever without any due process of law. He says he can torture people ... or use persuasive non-lethal methods, which, in my book, would include shooting someone in the leg, holding a gun to their head, beating the crap out of them, and stuff like that until the people tell you what you want them to say.

As an aside here, I've finally figured out where the president gets his legal authority for all this stuff he believes he can do. 24. He watches 24 and figures that whatever Jack Bauer can do, he can do. You wait and see. Something will happen in the upcoming season premiere ... Jack Bauer will have to do something unbelievable -- like cut down all the trees west of the Mississippi to find a witness who saw the Ukranian brother-in-law of a Muslim guy who bought toilet tissue made of recycled paper make a bank deposit in an even-numbered amount -- and then Bush will say in a signing statement he can do that. And I'll let you in on a secret ... the first sounds of Jack Bauer's names are the same as that of our president. He believes that his almighty god worked that one out with the producers and writers of 24 and that it is no coincidence.

I have a plan on the mail thing. Let's all make it easy on W. Send him a copy of every letter you send by U.S. Mail. At the bottom, make sure you put "cc: George W. Bush." Your co-workers will really be impressed. Tell them that you know George wants to know what they are doing at work. That will impress them, also. Or they'll think you're a lunatic. The U.S. Postal Service delivers 212 billion pieces of mail a year ... even if 1/100th of 1% of that mail is copied to the White House, that's almost 100,000 pieces of mail a day going to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20500. And while you're at it, copy Dick Cheney with all your e-mail or take a moment and drop him an e-mail right now. He's been pretty quiet of late.