Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Open Letter to Ron Artest

Dear Mr. Artest:

I read the rumors in Sports Illustrated on-line that you are unable to take care of your dogs at your estate in a gated community in Loomis, California. I realize that your real problem is that the caretakers of your dogs misrepresented their qualifications and have taken advantage of your celebrity status as a professional basketball player and have failed to perform as they had promised.

I am acquainted with several professional athletes who reside in my building, basketball players among them, several of whom have pets, and understand that you have a lifestyle that differs from your neighbors in the Sierra Ridge Estates Homeowners Association and that your dogs require special attention, care, and treatment.

I presently care for three dogs in an urban environment, after having lived in a community in which I was falsely accused, as you also have been, of harboring a vicious dog. Well, I guess you weren't falsely accused of harboring a vicious dog, but you were falsely accused of a vicious attack on a fan during a basketball game, which is much the same when you think about it.

I am highly qualified to care for your dogs and enclose several letters of recommendation. My rates are quite reasonable; and you will be pleased to know that I will not require you to pay first-class airfare inasmuch as one of my friends, who operates a commercial aviation firm, will be transporting me to the Mather Airport, where I have arranged for ground transportation to Loomis. We will, of course, need to firm up an ideal feeding schedule for your dogs; so, please give me a call to discuss that, together with my fee and the transportation cost estimates. I have enclosed one of my business cards for your convenience.

Thank you.

Very truly yours,

Bill

Posted by Bill at February 8, 2007 05:27 PM