I sent an e-mail to my friend, DT, wondering if he could teach me the ins-and-outs of driving a tractor. I've driven a tractor once before, and I know I need a lot of practice and pointers because I know there are secrets, driving shortcuts and radical techniques, so to speak, that only experienced tractor operators know about. You see, it's about time that I started on a new career path. I read an article a long time ago in which the author said that most people have three careers in their lives; so, I figured I better get going.
I've been at this lawyer career for quite a while. I don't know if, under the career rules, this is my first or my second. I was a dishwasher for a few months at a restaurant once and drove a lift truck at a factory for almost a year ... one of those might qualify, especially the lift truck job, since I had to take a test and was certified. It was only after I was certified that I forgot to lower the forks and pulled down part of a wall above a doorway, brickbats cascading down over the protective cage above my head.
Who better but my friend, DT, to help me get onto my new career path as a gravity tractor operator, who will save mankind and the world from asteroids and meteors and comets that are on a collision course with Mother Earth. I will motor around the solar system in my gravity tractor, on the look-out for those offending items that might bring doom to our planet. And I suppose that if I forget to "lower the forks," so to speak, there might be a problem; but, then again, the way things are going with 37 wars, half the population starving, and the other half infected by all kinds of diseases, how could the result be any worse?
Posted by Bill at February 17, 2007 10:20 AMI agree - a job for which one became certified should at least count as a career :)
Posted by: mikaela at February 17, 2007 11:17 AMYes. I can see this in my mind's eye. Bill the lawyer, cruising the solar system on his gravitational tractor; saving all people from the crap coming earth's way!
Indeed, even if you did get your tractor "out of gear", you would still be way ahead of the governments who have failed in their responsibilities to planet earth.
Posted by: Trace at February 17, 2007 03:40 PMI learnt to drive a tractor before anything else. I think the gravity tractor would be ideal for you. The earth-bound ones turn over too easily.
You know if you're serously going to save the world Stacy will have to make you something to wear in lycra, preferably in a primary colour etc..
Posted by: Anji at February 20, 2007 05:03 AMWhy not become a corporate lawyer and help steal from the working classes? There's good money in it. ;)
Posted by: Joel at February 21, 2007 04:50 AMIs it anything like that huge machine they drove around (and saved the world with) on the giant asteroid in Armagedon?
Posted by: Keri at February 21, 2007 03:51 PM