I'm wearing my eyeglasses instead of contacts for a few days. I'm skeptical about reality. The eyeglasses are a window to a new and different world, one in which actual objects are farther away than they appear to be. It's the opposite of the message on the passenger side view mirrors on newer model cars, only the message is not printed on the eyeglasses anywhere.
I made a thorough check of the eyeglasses, including the case, for such a message. Nothing. Oh, I suspect that the frames (not frames, really, because they are rimless) are made of red uranium because they are red and the word "uranium" is printed in teeny letters on the thin wire that goes from the lens to my right ear. There are letters and numbers, probably some kind of model number, on the other wire that goes to my left ear, U238.
Anyway, there is at least one practical problem to things being farther away than they appear. The ground is not as close as it looks; so, if one reaches for some, let's say, organic matter in order to pick it up, one might start losing one's balance because the pile isn't located in this reality where it is supposed to be, and one must really reach down to steady oneself or fall over and smash the pile of organic matter. Could just as well have had to steady oneself with the other hand instead of the one with the plastic bag on it.
But I did figure out why I'm getting a headache. It's obviously a radiation headache.
And this could be an unreported side effect, the way things are farther away than they appear to be. From the radiation. From the uranium.
Oh, hold on. Titanium. Not uranium. Hard to see real well without eyeglasses.
Never mind.
Posted by Bill at May 2, 2007 11:19 PMI'm reading this aloud to Keith. And we were still, I think, rather amazed by the circuitous (or perhaps just amazingly curved) route you took to through the Twiggy Universe and so working our way through THIS. I'm not even sure either of us hit on the fact that Uranium was out of sorts until we hit that last line when I burst out laughing as I got to Titanium...
How does one manage three leashes at the end of which are dogs moving in three different directions, and the bag and the balancing to stoop for the organic matter when one ISN'T dealing with the curving at the edges and the actual objects appearing closer than they are?
Posted by: Keri at May 5, 2007 11:59 PM