My lovely wife bought herself a couple cinnamon scones yesterday afternoon.
I don't like scones. I don't buy scones. In the scheme of all things food, the scone is a mistake. I discovered the secret held close by scone lovers about scones.
They got fucked up. Scones were actually supposed to turn out as something else, but they got fucked up. The "inventor" of the scone, the person who fucked them up, didn't have enough time to re-make the actual recipe or cook something else; so, the people at the party were stuck with -- hmmmm, what do we call them -- aaaah, scones.
Any etymologist will tell you that the origin of the word is Dutch; however, the etymologists are part of the scone conspiracy. The word "scones" is derived from the Spanish pejorative slang "cojones" because that is what the cook had when he served them.
And any entomologist will tell you that ants avoid scones. Even when given the choice between scones and liver, ants go for the liver. There is a simple explanation for that. Scones are not food.
And, just so you know, cinnamon is not magic dust.
Posted by Bill at May 17, 2007 04:27 PMso ... i should stop snorting cinnamon?
Posted by: tj at May 17, 2007 08:37 PMSecret to appetizing scone consumption: heat them in the microwave for thirty seconds.
Posted by: Joel at May 17, 2007 09:42 PMAfter reading aloud this post to my family (because your posts are ALWAYS best when read aloud), Keli disagrees with one part... She now works in a coffee shop and says this, "That's not true. I watched an ant drag a bit of scone that was much larger than the ant's body across the floor."
ROFL!
Posted by: Keri at May 18, 2007 12:21 AMAren't scones just a giant White Lily biscuit cut into wedges? Biscuits are the delivery system to keep your fingers from getting greasy from the sausage, ham or bacon you put inside--right? Cinnamon and sausage? Just way wrong.
Posted by: Vicki at May 18, 2007 08:18 AMyes, but how do you pronounce them?
Posted by: Anji at May 19, 2007 05:04 AM