This starts off as a golf story -- you think it's a golf story. It's not a golf story. Hang in there. Really.
On my drive to the golf course early this morning, there was an ESPN golf program on the radio -- I didn't plan it that way because a guy talking about golf on the radio is just plain stupid, except, yeah, I was listening. Think of me what you will, but the guy, Steve Harris, was talking about the upcoming United States Open Golf Championship to be played at Oakmont Country Club just northeast of Pittsburgh. The Pennsylvania Turnpike actually cuts the course in half with a bridge over the turnpike connecting the two parts.
He was droning on about the rough. For non-golfers or those golfers who don't see much of it, the fairways are areas of very short grass between the teeing area, where a hole starts, and the green, which is the really, really, really short grass where the golf hole is located. A golfer would like to hit the ball onto the fairway, from where it is easier to hit the ball than from the rough. The rough is located on both sides of the fairway and are areas of grass not cut as short as the fairways.
At the U.S. Open, the first cut of rough, about seven yards wide, is up to four inches long, and the second cut of rough, farther away from the fairway, will be trimmed to about six inches deep. It'll be very easy for golfers to lose their balls there. It'll take extra strokes to get up and into the hole from there.
So, Mr. Harris pointed out to his listener this morning, "I promise you the second cut of rough will be penile."
Posted by Bill at June 9, 2007 06:05 PMAh, yes, the erudite Mr. Bill and his ball stories.
Don't you recall Johnny Carson's interview with Mrs. Jack Nicklas? ( Or was it Mrs. Arnold Palmer?)
Carson had, as a guest, a pro-golfer's wife. I forget if it was Mrs. Jack Nicklaus or Mrs. Arnold Palmer, but Johnny asked her if she had any good luck ritual with which she sent her hubby out to the tours, and she said, "Yes. Before he leaves, I make sure I kiss his balls."
long pause....
Carson: "Well, I'll bet THAT sure makes his putter stand up straight!"
Nicklaus?
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at June 10, 2007 12:27 AMPenalty strokes? Guess the guy doesn't like solitary sex.
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