I decided over the weekend that I would make a concerted, real effort to stop my nasty habit of biting my fingernails. I don't know what's "nasty" about it, but that's what my mother called it when I was much younger. Now, I find out that I might have an obsessive-compulsive disorder; but there is a cure on the horizon.
For $650, I can be cured of this nasty habit obsessive-compulsive disorder forever. I need only get my passport and take a trip to the Netherlands.
But the cure sounds like all I need to do is get an old mouth guard out of one of the hockey bags and wear it all day and night every day for a month. Of course, I'd rinse the mouth guard before using it. The mouth guards, as I recall, come in varied colors. I could switch colors every day.
This all sounds so simple, but I doubt that it will work as effectively as that Dutch guy, Alain-Raymond van Abbe, who claims to be a former health industry and cosmetics promoter, whatever that means, claims.
He obviously is not a nail-biter of any repute and doesn't realize the deviousness of the fingernails, which, as all seriously-demented nail-biters know, have minds of their own. They will remove that mouth guard without the brain even knowing what has happened and go about their business, as usual.
I wonder what kind of guarantee Mr. von Abbe offers. Perhaps, he has adopted the progressive penalties imposed upon those who fail in Stephen King's short story, Quitters, Inc.
Weighing the competing considerations, I think I'll save my money and try alternate methods.
Posted by Bill at September 10, 2007 10:46 AMBill, I know an obsessive compulsive who cannot stop filing her nails and biting them. She has reduced them to tiny shells afloat in a sea of bleeding skin.
Are you that bad?
(Quitters, Inc. was part of the film Cats Eye. Did you see it?)
Posted by: Joel at September 11, 2007 02:14 AMI've got a few old mouth guards I can donate to the cause.
The real question here is: why are YOU still storing those hockey bags???
Posted by: lucy at September 11, 2007 01:03 PMYou could have your teeth removed.
I bite at the skin around my nails.
Posted by: Anji at September 12, 2007 05:10 AMI have mutilated the cuticles around my nails off and on through the years, and yet never had the habit of biting my nails. My excuse has always been that whenever I tried to bite my nails, it hurt my teeth--heh. Like what difference in pain was there for me between hurting my teeth, and mutilating my cuticles--true ocd. reasoning there with me--gah.
Posted by: Trace at September 12, 2007 03:03 PMFabulous. I wonder if this is the King story in the collection of ss's I'm about to start. There is at least one of his found within. The last of the books I'm to read in my challenge. Yeah.
Stop biting your nails. There. Did that help? I bet it did. I bet SOMETHING did. You know what I mean. mwahahahaha.
Posted by: Keri at September 12, 2007 10:53 PMHave you ever tasted Bitter Apple Spray? We used it for our dog when he was a pup so he wouldn't chew on things. A few times I mistakenly got a taste of it and it's awful. If I were you, I'd get some and spray it on my fingertips. Believe me, it would deter you from putting them in your mouth and it would cost less than $10.
Posted by: Vito at September 13, 2007 02:48 PM