Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

My New Scanner

I bought a high-speed scanner as a part of my own Paperwork Reduction Act.

While loading the software, I decided to actually read the preliminary stuff, which everyone ordinarily ignores before clicking the "Agree" button.

I think it would have been pretty important to tell me before buying the damn scanner that:

It is NOT designed, developed and manufactured for use in environments bearing extremely high risk potentials like fatal risks or dangers, which require extremely high safety measures, and which could otherwise lead to death, personal injury, severe physical damage or other similar losses (hereinafter referred to as Use in High Safety Environments. Such environments include without limitations, use in:
- nuclear power facility control,
- airplane control,
- air traffic control,
- mass transport operation control,
- life support, and
- weapon launching control.

I'm just not imaginative enough to figure out how to control a nuclear power facility with my new scanner. It would probably take more than one, however.

But I think that I should try to figure out how I could use my new scanner in life support. If there's a breach of the containment vessel at a nuclear power facility, resulting in a disaster, because some moron tried to control the facility with but one scanner, I should be prepared to provide emergency life support with my new scanner.

And according to John McCain, the threats by Iran ... Iraq ... Lichtenstein ... or whatever that country is ... are so like bound to come true that the United States, at least, the eastern half of the U.S.A. ... or the western half, whatever ... will come under inter-continental ballistic missile attack; I should be ready to use my new scanner as a weapon launching control -- no, that won't work because I'm not the one launching the weapons.

But the instructions don't say anything about the scanner being dangerous if I wanted to make an anti-ballistic missile shield. Yeah, that's the ticket! I could use my new scanner to control an anti-ballistic missile shield and prevent all those Iranian or Iraqi or Albanian missiles from ever reaching the U.S.A. That would totally work out, I think.

Posted by Bill at August 25, 2008 09:24 PM