Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

You Have an Ulcer

As a public service, I am reminding you that the PPAI Expo is January 12 - 14 at the Mandalay Bay Convention Center in Las Vegas. I have no idea what the PPAI could be.

But I was invited by Spectrum Uniforms to see Richard and Sam at Booth 416 there. Why did I get an e-mail from Spectrum, "Home of Value Priced Medical Apparel and Accessories?" I'm not even in any kind of medicine-related field or endeavor.

I do go to the doctor, however, except that on my last visit, he was out of town; and I agreed to be seen by a physician assistant. Now, I am having a battle with the P.A., whether she knows it or not. It started when I had to point things out to her in my medical records -- but perhaps I should not have expected her to have done that before walking in to see me.

It's not like I'm not appreciative, but she doesn't have to have that "I told you so" attitude every time she calls me on the phone to tell me what the fuck is wrong with me after the blood tests came back and what she wants done to me. And I question her about what she wants done to me, and she's all insistent that I'm like not on my death bed, but walking down the hall outside the bedroom, which is not the way I'm feeling.

And then, when she calls me after I have them stick things down my throat while I'm all drugged up (I have a distinct recollection that the "doctor" had greyish skin with an oddly shaped head and six fingers on each hand), she doesn't have to have that "I told you so" attitude when the "gastro-enterologist" says I have an ulcer.

She's like all excited about her triumph and prescribes me medication; I call her back after I find out the pre-packaged antibiotics/Prevacid treatment has a $395 co-pay, and I'm not paying for her drug-company-sponsored trip to Cancun and to prescribe the two antibiotics individually and I'll get the Prevacid over the counter and take two of them. She acceded to my request -- maybe, I was somewhat harsh -- but set up an appointment to see her next week; so, she gets the last laugh again.

But upon reflection, maybe she is just trying to help me; maybe I have misjudged her. It's barely possible, but it could be.

So, I'm going to take a different approach. Instead of offering her a peace pipe because Cleveland Clinic doesn't permit smoking on the premises, which extends from about East 83rd to halfway to Buffalo, New York, and mainly because I don't have a peace pipe, I was thinking a stethoscope might be an appropriate peace offering.

From Spectrum.

Posted by Bill at January 11, 2011 12:15 PM