There are two subjects I do not discuss with people, especially those I consider to be friends: religion and politics. The surest way to kill a budding friendship is to start discussing either subject. Well, maybe that applies only to me -- the surest way to kill a budding friendship with me is to start discussing either subject, but I think it applies to a lot of people.
In any event, I believe in reincarnation. I won't discuss much else here or anywhere about it, the physics of it and how it works and all that. That would be talking actual science, not creationism and bibles and all that rot, and that would not go over well in religion circles.
I just wanted to touch on that because, although I have no real control over this, reincarnation, that is, I figured out what I would like to be if I come back in my next life as a person and there are no flying cars.
I would like to be a beer truck driver. Like there is absolutely no fucking stress in this job. I mean, I'd be sitting up high in the driver's seat of a massive beer truck without any care about other traffic or anything else, for that matter. If I wanted to park in the middle of the fucking street, just like the guy who cut me off today and then stopped right in the middle of the street in the fucking turning lane, I would just cut off any other drivers on the street and then stop right in the middle of the street in the fucking turning lane to make my deliveries.
And who is going to complain? I'm the BEER MAN. Everybody is happy to see me. They want to see me. People on the street wave and smile and ask how it's going. "Great!" I say.
I haven't heard one barkeeper or restauranteur get upset when the BEER MAN shows up with a delivery. It doesn't happen. Ever. And like if someone driving a car fucking complains, I would ignore him. Why? Because I am the BEER MAN!
And the cop would tell the fucking idiot who complains, "Hey, can't you see, he's making a delivery over there. Leave that BEER MAN be. Let him do his job. He's making a living." Because I would have the most important job in the world. I am the beer truck delivery driver.
And I even get to roll big kegs of beer in the street. That would be cool, too.
The Beer Man.
Posted by Bill at April 3, 2012 05:17 PMYo, Beer Dude, I have two questions and a suggestion.
What if you get reincarnated as The Beer Woman?
Can you swing by my place? I'm thirsty as hell. And you can park in the private driveway, which would be blocked completely by a beer truck.
The suggestion: pizza, enough for both of us.
Footnote: If your beer truck does fly, just hover up to my balcony and I'll help you unload.
I'm imagining you with BEER MAN MUSCLES as I type this.
Posted by: Anji at April 11, 2012 09:12 AM