As someone recommended to me, when you get a call, ask if you can pay for the product in food stamps. That generally stops at least that company's calls.

I was the screenwriter you wrote Kill Bill

Dear Mr L

This is Paul and I am selling you the opportunity of testing a new golfers viagra. Yes, believe it. Soak your golf balls in this liquid and you are sure to get a rise when you need it the most - a hole in one. You will not end up being the situation which happened with The Presidents Cup at Fancourt in South Africa. If Tiger or Ernie had used Golfers Viagra, it would not have been a draw. And thats not all. How much do you think your Golfers Viagra would cost? $500? $300? No! For a mere $100 you can get enough viagra for your all your balls. And wait - that's not all. You also get a handy erection tool on which to perch your ball. But that's not all. Viagra comes in its own neat little ball pouch to keep your balls warm.
Now press 7 to erase this message.

I got on the DoNotCall list, and I rarely get calls anymore. It's very nice. Now I can answer the phone without putting on my fresh-off-the-boat Asian accent. Maybe it won't last forever, but the silence is appreciated for now.

I had a call the other night from WELLS FARGO. The telemarketer tried to tell me that it wasn't in effect yet. I said to her "I do not want to speak to you" and hung up.

Yeah, why can't we delete a message without having to listen to the whole thing again? It's painful. And while I'm thinking about it, why do I have to go back to the office to shut off call forwarding?

OH NO! I saw a big post from Stacey earlier.... I put a sticky on my desk to come back to read it... and now it is gone.

DAMN!
-d

test

Have I got I a TiVo deal for you! Please, PLEASE listen to the rest of my messages. Hello??

damn host. yup, i posted. it was brilliant. and moving. turkeys. cream pies. starbucks. holiday traditions. pete townshend.

dammit!

I'm like Pink Lotus I use my terrible English accent