Good giggling grief! I am seriously paying attention to your little story, looking for "All the President's Men"-like masquerading clues, (the men-in-black mentality), and suddenly I am slammed with a virtual snowball:

"All things being equal, newly fallen snow melts faster on a head covered with natural hair as opposed to a head covered by a hairpiece."

Touche, mon frere, touche!

I never fail to be awed, amused, and flabbergasted by the way your mind works. I sure wish I was in a neighboring loft...so we could have neighborly chats about all these important things.

Although, the whole artificial tree mandate would bother me. I might have to be defiant and break the condo laws. But how handy to have an attorney nearby!

Life on this planet will never be the same again