ok. so what happens is lucy posts her dare. her comments section tells the next part of the story. i've condensed them and put them in order here:
ok. it's time, bill. people are embarrassed for you now. it's not just me. have you no shame?
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 03:14 PM
On Billy Day everyone should wear golf shirts cuz y'know, it could be about golf, but it's usually not.
Comon Billy...
Move that fridge!
Move that fridge!
Move that fridge!
Posted by Kathy at March 12, 2003 03:26 PM
ohmygod!!! the dolly is being dragged into the house as i am typing. it's in the basement!!!!!!!!!
it sounds like it's being banged ... not sure ... he's coming up ... now down ... lots of banging ... creepy quiet ......
some dull thumping ... throwing stuff around ... scraping ... rolling sounds ... can't tell if there's anything on it ... more throwing of stuff ... the dull noises again ... a long time of quiet ... scraping ... more throwing ... scraping ... noise at the steps ... ohmygod .. it just may be happening!!! more noise on the steps ... stuff falling ... i hear the dolly, but is it alone? nothing ... footsteps ... a man just went out to the garage. i think i'm going to throw up -- more (?) later.
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 05:32 PM
the dolly is back up here sans refrigerator. but bill is back down the basement ... more noises on the steps ... throwing stuff ... wait -- i'm going to go look ... maybe not .. might jinx the whole thing ... no -- i'll look ... brb ... ok, i'm really scared now ... the dolly is at the top of the steps ... bill is at the bottom of the steps with the refrigerator, but he appears to be trying to tie up the refrigerator for some reason with an outdoor electrical extension cord ??? ... i must not speak, must not question -- he will blow. i know, i know he SEEMS like kind of a mellow guy, but HE IS NOT!!! scraping ... no swearing or yelling yet ... that is a good sign, right? noises ... i am so afraid. why, lucy, why did you dare him to do this? more throwing ... he cannot be dragging the fridge up the steps with an extension cord, can he? can he? no ... scraping ... very loud bang/thump .. another small one ... loud bang ... very, very loud bang ... but no swearing ... the dogs are asking me what's going on ... how can i reassure them ... betsy sounds like she's hyperventilating ... no -- that's me -- she's ok ... bangs ... i need a paper bag. pray to whoever you pray to!
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 05:50 PM
I guess I should be cheering along with the crowd here, huh? Go, Billy, go!!!
Posted by PatCH at March 12, 2003 05:55 PM
i looked down the steps ... the extension cord is off, and it looks like he's got it tied up with the dogs' leashes ... this may work better ... bill is now trapped at the bottom of the steps -- he has removed his shirt ... he has a crazy look on his face ... i'm still afraid to speak ... he may be trapped down there ... i can't figure out what he's planning ... is it to PUSH THE REFRIGERATOR UP THE STEPS? nobody's hyperventilating, but the dogs are experiencing a powerful bout of stress farting ...
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 06:04 PM
no swearing, he's just quietly talking to himself ... i'm afraid to move.
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 06:05 PM
he hit the freon line on something ... freon is escaping into the house ... the fire department is on the way ... bill is furious at me.
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 06:16 PM
I knew he'd come up with some excuse.... "hit the freon line"..uh huh...
Oh no! That's terrible! Hope everything is okay!
Posted by lucy at March 12, 2003 06:19 PM
the fire dept is gone. the big tanker, three firemen in full gear, 2 police cars, and an ambulance. they misunderstood the call, thought bill was UNDER the fridge. investigated, checked gas levels, petted the dogs, giggled a lot, made us vent the house -- it's 40 degrees out there! but they think we'll be ok. fire chief told bill to get it out another day, but he's at it again.
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 06:50 PM
he's upstairs. it's over. the fridge has won again. he's not happy -- said" "i need another person. i hope my back's ok."
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 06:56 PM
And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street....
ROTFLMAO.
Posted by lucy at March 12, 2003 06:58 PM
holy ordeal batman!!
Posted by mark at March 12, 2003 07:26 PM
Billy, I want witnesses. Where was Jackson when all this was taking place. Witnesses ... always have good witnesses.
;-)
Posted by Kathy at March 12, 2003 07:57 PM
he's furious -- our little burb puts these things in the paper, honest to god this is true. but matt didn't believe it either. jackson says write a screenplay -- thinks steve martin might be interested. honest to GOD -- this is my life. he SEEMS kind of smart, doesn't he?
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 08:02 PM
jax left for a meeting at 6:05 -- EASTERN TIME. so that would be 5:05 HERE on lucy's site. i was i-ming with lucy when fire dept was here. i HOPE SHE BELIEVES ME. i know the whole thing seems crazy -- but it is true!
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 08:06 PM
LOL.
Is there video of this footage? A police report we can review? Looking for some evidence. If I have to don a freakin golf shirt this best be for real.
:-)
Posted by Kathy at March 12, 2003 08:09 PM
i'm gonna cry soon if people don't believe me. it's hard enough to have to deal with this shit. i am so pissed i didn't take pictures of the firemen. and all the rescue vehicles. please, please believe me.
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 08:24 PM
I believe you, stacey. And I haven't laughed that hard in I-don't-know-when...
Seriously: fire trucks and ambulance and police cars and then they left and then Billy got on IM and started bitching FIRST THING about how it was going to be in the paper... I told him I want a picture of that fridge outside before I'll believe it's truly out..but here's the funny thing: Billy says, "So I'm on the GE site.."
Fucking freon going everywhere and Billy gets on the web to look it up.
Now that is funny.
Posted by lucy at March 12, 2003 08:27 PM
ohmygods my sides hurt from laughing!
Posted by Kathy at March 12, 2003 08:49 PM
How did Billy get conned into this? If I would have only known about it, I could have tried to talk him out of it, it is at the least a two man job.
Posted by boz at March 12, 2003 08:54 PM
boz. i read your comment to billy; and he said, "one of the guys i used to golf with was in the world's strongest man competition, dave something. and one of the events was a one-man refrigerator move." this is how this man -- oops i WAS going to say "thinks." silly me.
Posted by stacey at March 12, 2003 08:59 PM
you realize you *have* to go to the fireman's ball now. support the local public services. i mean, they saved you from freon for gods sake. maybe the ferret could volunteer to be their mascot. you could get him a little doll sized firemans hat and jacket. a mini truck...the hook and ladder style.
you know, just to show your support.
Posted by Kathy at March 12, 2003 09:08 PM
I hear there's a website that will tell you how to extricate that refrigerator with duct tape and leaky radiator hose.
caveat hernia
Posted by Metta at March 12, 2003 10:03 PM
BWAHAHAHA.....Metta!
Posted by lucy at March 12, 2003 10:05 PM
Damn, Stacey, that was the funniest blow-by-blow description I've heard in a long time. Sorry it had to come at Bill's expense, but I had a good guffaw this morning. Thanks!
Posted by Dan at March 13, 2003 08:45 AM
the next day, lucy posts this.
after all is said and done, the fridge is gone. he got it out the next day.
a couple of weeks ago, one of the burners on our stove blew. we're looking for a new stove. this one's going in the basement.
Posted by Stacey at August 29, 2003 11:00 AMokay that was hilarious. I deeply regret not being in on this from the outset. And as for that one-man-fridge moving competition that Billy's friend did - was that on a level surface, or UP THE BASEMENT STEPS? Geez I only criticize because I'm EXACTLY THE SAME WAY...
Posted by: dan at August 29, 2003 11:18 AMROFLMAO!! Thanks for starting off my morning with a laugh!
(sorry bill!)
Posted by: kathy at August 29, 2003 11:22 AMLMAO!
Can't wait for the stove story.
hahahahahahaha!
Posted by: Kathy Howe at August 29, 2003 02:14 PMNothing but love -- yeah, right. It's the weekend, though. I count on the fact that NOBODY will read this stuff on the weekend. I think I'll have to write 23 posts to get this off the page -- better get started. The stove -- you mean how some asshole tested the defective electric burner on one of the other plug thingys on the stove, causing a big blue electric lightning bolt to arc out and nearly fry him and blow out the entire kitchen power grid? Who could have done that?
Posted by: Billy at August 29, 2003 02:58 PMgreat. thanks a lot, billy. i was trying to keep that little electrical disturbance somewhere in the cleveland, ohio, area QUIET. now the cat's outa the bag.
Posted by: stacey at August 29, 2003 03:45 PMBilly...what is with you and electrocution?
Posted by: Kathy Howe at August 29, 2003 04:30 PMI sing the body electric, Kathy.
Posted by: Billy at August 30, 2003 09:48 PM