October 03, 2003

The UPS Phenomenon

Bradley Road is a highly-traveled, two-lane, north-south, asphalt-paved, double-yellow-lined artery in the suburbs. And at about 4:15 in the afternoon, there is a fairly large volume of traffic coursing its way north and south. One particular driver of a white Volkswagen Beetle with a black "The Who" sticker on the rear bumper is invariably driving, pushing the envelope, so to speak, to pick up his wife from her place of work.

[Why does he drive in such a manner, pushing the envelope, so to speak? That's not a question to be answered here and now, much as the reader might be tempted to do so. Perhaps the answer to that question can be found in the response to this question: Why did he preserve an inoperable freon-filled refrigerator in the basement until his small children reached manhood and it became a biohazard?]

Speeding toward his destination, checking the clock against his speed, all the while calculating whether he would be forced to test the limits of fine German automotive engineering, he asked, as he jammed on the anti-skid disc brakes, why the fuck did the dumb-ass UPS driver think he could stop in the fucking street blocking traffic?

What gives not only the UPS driver but every delivery truck guy, construction equipment operator, and farm combine driver the notion that they can stop indiscriminately or pull out in front of everyone stopping or seriously disrupting the free flow of traffic, especially one particular driver mentioned hereinbefore.

Are they not driving their own motor cars when not operating their clogging trucks and crawling tractors? Do they lose all sensibility when they put on the uniforms and climb into the trucks and tractors?

Posted by Bill at October 3, 2003 09:11 PM
Comments

My Dad used to love creating havoc with a combine harvester, it's like a playful sense of humour.

Posted by: Anji at October 4, 2003 01:28 AM

Ummmm.... Bill, I think when you come to sunny South Africa on holiday, I had better be your chauffeur for a few days. Ummm.... that is the way our taxis drive. In fact, some go as far as putting a sticker on the back of their bumper (not The Who) and it simply states: "Driver will break and stop whenever he wants to". I kid you not. Now if we see a 16 seater taxi carrying 36 passengers, we make sure we travel a distance behind him and are now prepared for those sudden stops.

Posted by: Michelle at October 4, 2003 10:29 AM