Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

ONE WOMAN'S RANT

ok. i’m gonna talk about sex. leave now if you’re so inclined. although i’m not going to say much of anything my kids haven’t heard from me. so if you’ve come here via one of those freaky searches, get the hell outa here. now.

i think sex is a terrific thing. i’m not a prude. i’m all for it. i just happen to believe sex is more than a) recreation and b) a natural thing that “just happens,” you know, like a bowel movement. now, let me be clear here – i’m talking about the values i’d like my children to have. i’m talking about young people. young adults. college kids. i’m not the kind of person who thinks that sex between consenting, “available” adults is wrong. i don’t know if you think i’m inconsistent. i don’t care. works for me.

i KNOW i’m lucky. i’ve been married since i was 19 to one man, my first and only sexual partner. over 30 years (so, ok, yeah, i wasn’t a virgin – another thing my boys know) with the same guy. boring? nope. it’s possible.

i believe sex is a beautiful gift to humans from god. it’s different for us BECAUSE we’re not animals. because, if you’re lucky, good sex is a statement of love. if you’ve not experienced THAT kind of sexual gratification, sucks to be you.

i think that if sex is a “natural” step in a dating relationship (with two dates (one date?), you get orgasm), you’re missing a whole lot. you’ve bought into the whole cultural bullshit about sex.

i DON’T believe premarital sex is wrong. i believe EXTRAmarital sex is cheating. and wrong. duh. see, the funny thing is most of you are bored here. you’re thinking, “duh!” just because i think most of our readers get this. i don't mean most INTERNET people.

here’s where i’m going. bill golfs. a lot. and i’m usually along for the ride in the cart. we get to talk, laugh, be outside, make fun of people; and bill gets to golf. a lot. a couple weeks ago, we were at the green of one hole while there were two carts (4 guys) pulling up to the tee of the adjacent hole. sometimes when you’re driving in a cart, you’re not aware that you’re speaking kind of loud in order to be heard by your cart partner. let me warn you here: your voice carries.

so these two carts pull up and one guy is talking REALLY LOUD to not only his buddy in his cart, but to the other two guys in the other cart as well. so i could not help but hear him. he’s telling these three other guys (who, btw, appeared COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED to be in the company of this loud-talking asshole) about how he was allowed to eat the jello shot right out of the p**** of the “girl” at the strip club. [i placed asterisks there to avoid hits from assholes looking for that kind of shit]

yummmm. how’d you like to be THAT guy’s wife. “hi honey, i’m home! how’s about a kiss for your “man?” [i put quotations around that word as i think the only thing that qualifies that guy for manhood – by my definition – is the fact that he MAY HAVE had a dick.]

i don’t know. i’ve been annoyed (sickened) about this everytime i think about it. wtf is wrong with people that they think this is not only cool, but that EVERYBODY IN THE FUCKING WORLD BELIEVES THAT, TOO? and if you don’t, you’re a prude.

believe it or not, assholes. not true. i’d be willing to bet i’m getting a hell of a lot more than you (OK. NOW THE BOYS WILL BE EMBARRASSED – SORRY GUYS).

and those three guys you were with, jerk-off? [i probably should have put THAT in asterisks – fuck it – but i wanted you to know that *i* know that’s probably ALL you’re getting.] anyway, the three guys. they were so embarassed / mortified at your loud stupidity, not one of them could meet my eye. and i made sure they knew i was trying to catch their glance. not that you’d notice – you fucking, obtuse, asshole.

well at least you can take comfort in the fact you’re not alone. there have always been whores and johns. there will always be. and there are more and more of you.

Posted by Stacey at October 12, 2003 07:32 PM