November 24, 2003

Paul, Do Not Call

We are not on the national Do-Not-Call registry. There are enough exceptions, exemptions, and mistakes that allow telemarketers to call that it probably won't stop all the calls. When the Supreme Court outlaws the list, there will be a huge telephone directory available from your federal government under the Freedom of Information Act to telemarketers and privateers with 50 million names and phone numbers on it to use and abuse as they see fit.

I tell telemarketers who call to put my number on their own do-not-call list, which prevents them from contacting me, even if I purchased something or had some business contact with them in the last year or fall within an exemption under the federal law.

For the fourth consecutive day, Paul, who is with some kind of satellite TV dish company, called to offer me satellite TV for up to four TVs in my home for two dollars with free installation and equipment and three free months of service, including local channels.

Nobody was home to take his call. No operator was standing by. He left a message that lasted about five minutes. Unlike my cell phone, I cannot simply listen to a couple seconds of the call and delete it. Once the message says, "Hi, Mr. L., this is Paul, Paul with ...," I have to wait until the end of the message to push the number "7" to erase the message.

Why can't I delete the message without having to listen to the whole thing, including Paul telling me 38 times to make sure that I tell whoever answers the phone when I call back to ask for Paul or make sure that the person knows that Paul told me to call if Paul wasn't available?

If I could have erased the message right away, I would have felt so much better about satellite dish TV. I may have even called to find out about the benefits of satellite TV. Whatever.

I now hate the name Paul and anybody named Paul. I'll get over it. Give me some space.

Posted by Bill at November 24, 2003 12:37 PM
Comments

As someone recommended to me, when you get a call, ask if you can pay for the product in food stamps. That generally stops at least that company's calls.

Posted by: TW at November 24, 2003 01:34 PM

I was the screenwriter you wrote Kill Bill

Posted by: Paul at November 24, 2003 02:27 PM

Dear Mr L

This is Paul and I am selling you the opportunity of testing a new golfers viagra. Yes, believe it. Soak your golf balls in this liquid and you are sure to get a rise when you need it the most - a hole in one. You will not end up being the situation which happened with The Presidents Cup at Fancourt in South Africa. If Tiger or Ernie had used Golfers Viagra, it would not have been a draw. And thats not all. How much do you think your Golfers Viagra would cost? $500? $300? No! For a mere $100 you can get enough viagra for your all your balls. And wait - that's not all. You also get a handy erection tool on which to perch your ball. But that's not all. Viagra comes in its own neat little ball pouch to keep your balls warm.
Now press 7 to erase this message.

Posted by: Telemarketer at November 24, 2003 02:37 PM

I got on the DoNotCall list, and I rarely get calls anymore. It's very nice. Now I can answer the phone without putting on my fresh-off-the-boat Asian accent. Maybe it won't last forever, but the silence is appreciated for now.

Posted by: pink lotus at November 24, 2003 02:39 PM

I had a call the other night from WELLS FARGO. The telemarketer tried to tell me that it wasn't in effect yet. I said to her "I do not want to speak to you" and hung up.

Posted by: Joel at November 24, 2003 07:22 PM

Yeah, why can't we delete a message without having to listen to the whole thing again? It's painful. And while I'm thinking about it, why do I have to go back to the office to shut off call forwarding?

Posted by: Jennifer at November 25, 2003 02:06 PM

OH NO! I saw a big post from Stacey earlier.... I put a sticky on my desk to come back to read it... and now it is gone.

DAMN!
-d

Posted by: Telemarker #2 at November 25, 2003 04:23 PM

test

Posted by: matt at November 25, 2003 04:57 PM

Have I got I a TiVo deal for you! Please, PLEASE listen to the rest of my messages. Hello??

Posted by: Paul at November 25, 2003 06:29 PM

damn host. yup, i posted. it was brilliant. and moving. turkeys. cream pies. starbucks. holiday traditions. pete townshend.

dammit!

Posted by: stacey at November 25, 2003 07:24 PM

I'm like Pink Lotus I use my terrible English accent

Posted by: Anji at November 26, 2003 05:35 AM