Please scroll down a little and read Stacey's post. She was 16 when we met; I was 17. She looks into herself all the time, analyzes what she is doing and how she can change for the better. You'd think that some of that would have rubbed off on me after all these years and that I'd have learned some of that from her -- you'd be wrong. But her post is making me do that today, so here's what i'm thinking about MY resolution for next year.
I wrote in my 100 things a long time ago that I am selfish. Part of being selfish is not looking at my self, at me, and letting my ego stand in the way. A friend I had in college woudl say to me, "Swallow your pride, Billy." Good old Ed -- man, he was like ... ancient. He was a freshman. I was a sophomore. I was 19. He was 31, fuckin' bald. He'd been in the Air Force for a while. Funny, I haven't thought about him in a few years ...
I guess that he was talking about that ego-standing-in-the-way thing, that "pride" thing clouding my vision of what could be a better life, a better relationship ... or maybe he was just talking about not trying to pull that slider on the outside corner and to take it to right. Maybe ... I mean he was talking about that, the slider, that is, and I did hit over .400; but I don't think so because he'd say that to me when we weren't on the field. Funny, I haven't thought about him for a few years ... but his voice came into my head just a little while ago, and I sit here writing.
Time to work on this. Time to work harder on not taking people, relationships ... Stacey, for granted. Swallow your pride, Billy.
Posted by Bill at December 31, 2003 05:50 PMI think you've picked one of the hardest resolutions of all, Bill.
Posted by: TW at December 31, 2003 07:10 PMWell, I am swallowing tears. That post touched me. Stacey is lucky to have you. Have a wonderful new year with your bride Bill.
Posted by: kathy at December 31, 2003 09:49 PMHappy New Year Billy. I was writing along the same lines in my journal last night. I've been taking the Warrior for granted, too. Working on pushing my own ego out of the way and looking deep. My big resolution for the year.
A toast to us both to accomplishing an important task...
Posted by: Keri at December 31, 2003 10:35 PMHappy New Year Bill - I hope you succeed on the road you have chosen for this year. However, don't sell yourself short. I don't think Stacey would have stuck it out with you if you were THAT bad. You have some really wonderful qualities - never fail to acknowledge the good in you too, because changing the flaws will always be so much easier. I have a good feeling about this year (am not sure whether I say that at the start of each year, mmmmmm ....) and we can hope strive to make it so.
Posted by: Michelle at January 1, 2004 04:05 AMWhat a great post!
Thanks for sharing this with us undeserving observers.
Posted by: Kathy Howe at January 1, 2004 08:56 PM