January 23, 2004

PILLOW TALK

this is why i'm not sleeping. laughing your ass off wakes you up good.

bill: i figured out what's going on on mars with the rover.

stace: oh yeah?

bill: the brits are pissed. and they secretly sent their "beagle" rover over to our rover to kick our rover's ass. their scientists are watching it on their closed circuit tv's right now i'll bet. billion dollar robot wars.

stace: **no words. just a snorting laughter fit. it's all over for me for at least a while now.**

*************

we stopped at starbucks this evening (i know, i know. go figure), and guess what? luxury, pristinely beautiful lexus mini-van in the handicapped parking space! shocking, right?

so we march right in there up to the counter and ask the girl to call the police as there's a car with no handicapped sticker in the spot. bill talks. i watch the patrons for their reactions. i spot her right away. waiting for her latte, she is. but i'm distracted from my desire to rip her head off by the 18 year-old clerk telling my husband, the lawyer, the ada-expert lawyer thankyouverymuch, that it's private property, and so, not against the law. now there are two people i want to kill. i have to choose. so i decide bill can handle the law debate, and i choose my victim. i go stand over by her, pretending to wait for my coffee, and dial the police on my cell phone. she listens while i tell the dispatcher that there's a car parked illegally -- not an emergency, officer -- at starbucks on detroit. but my lady gets her drink (she's really shaking right now) and almost runs for the door. i block her (i can move pretty fast when i'm pissed) and ask her if that's her car in the h-c spot. "yes, i just had knee surgery."

i wasn't ready for THAT excuse. i ask her if she knows what a temporary tag is. she says "no." i tell her ( i wasn't very polite, but i didn't destroy her -- i was caught off guard with that excuse. i won't be fooled again by that one) to ask her doctor. i come to my senses as she runs to her car that it was bullshit. dammit! denied!

Posted by Stacey at January 23, 2004 07:29 AM
Comments

You should have tripped her up. By the way, what is the legal situation on private property? Surly if the owners have marked the spaces they should be used for that purpose.

He, He, in France a few years ago, the police were roughing up a young man who didn't have his I.D. papers on him, he turned out to be a lawyer.

Posted by: Anji at January 23, 2004 08:24 AM

YAY! you guys are my heroes!

and, i don't think it matters if its private property. that's like saying you don't have to stop at stop signs in a mall parking lot because its private property. that doesn't sound right to me.

Posted by: tj at January 23, 2004 09:43 AM

I've always said that people get away with things because other people let them. Yup, what TJ said above. Heroes!

Posted by: Philip at January 23, 2004 09:47 AM

Whore!

Posted by: Charlene at January 23, 2004 11:05 AM

Good job you two! She won't be doing that again any time soon!!!

Posted by: Keri at January 23, 2004 01:07 PM

I picture her running from you in fear, looking over her shoulder to see if you are chasing. LOL

Posted by: kathy at January 24, 2004 12:26 PM

being the child of a disabled father who actually does need the parking spots, thanks!! i do have a comment on people apparently authorized to use the spots. when did obesity become an acceptable use for a handicapped space?

Posted by: mike at January 25, 2004 09:09 PM

Where can I find out when this was posted?

Posted by: Michelle at August 11, 2004 01:09 PM