Yes, I am difficult at home. I admit that. But there is no toothbrush in the shower. Why? Because somebody didn't like the one that was in the little basket?
Concession was made at one time for the kind of toothpaste in the shower, the kind someone else likes. I had assumed that disposal of the offending toothbrush would have resulted in some kind of replacement of my toothbrush.
Since college days, I have brushed my teeth in the shower. In the morning, I take a shower. And my three faithful readers know that I am a shower freak. Being without a toothbrush causes an extreme and debilitating disruption in the whole showering process. It is kind of like a scratch on an old-fashioned vinyl record that causes the same thing to play over and over and over again.
I get stuck. I don't know what to do next. I look around. I grab the toothpaste tube.
I stand there, water coursing over me, cascading from my bald pate, an automaton with a glitch in its programming. Like tears in the rain ...
This morning, the judge asked: You want to tell us why you're late? I replied, fumbling for the right words for the situation, not wanting to cast blame or clue anyone in on my daily habits: I had a malfunction in the shower this morning, your Honor. She looked at me askance, wheels turning, and said: I have a feeling that there is something more to this story, but we won't go into it now. I wiped my brow and sighed with relief: I appreciate that, Judge.
I will buy a new toothbrush.
Hold on ... wait a second ... now I remember. I did have a new toothbrush ... and someone said that the end was too pointy. It was my toothbrush. I bought it for me ... I'm the one who brushes my teeth in the shower. There's the toothbrush at the sink with the toothpate that someone else uses. Somebody got rid of that pointy-ended toothbrush, and I got the one out of my personal hygiene travel kit. It's all coming back to me. And now that one is gone, too. I mean, I didn't really like that one -- the one in my travel kit, that is -- but it was mine. Now, it too has joined its pointy-ended brother in toothbrush oblivion ... gone from the face of the earth ... or worse, relegated to cleaning the grout with cleanser or bleach. The thought of that fate horrifies me.
I need a new toothbrush, one with a chain, yes ... a chain on it ... like the pens in the bank ... so it can't be removed from the shower.
Posted by Bill at August 5, 2004 03:40 PMThe real question here... can you sue?
- Dana
you are a sick, sad man. it's in the basket on the counter, freak.
Posted by: stacey at August 5, 2004 07:55 PMLOL! Is the pointy one in the basket on the counter too? :) HA! Did you put it back in the wrong place after you used it to clean the toilet when you were pissed at him Stace? My MIL did that once. To her boyfriend I mean. After she found out he was cheating on her. And when she was done with her cleaning chore, she put it right back where it belonged. Ack.
Posted by: Keri at August 5, 2004 10:25 PMBrushing your teeth in the shower. Could be the Next Big Thing, but I sorta doubt it. So, where do you floss? Nevermind, I don't think I need to know *grin*
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at August 6, 2004 11:09 AMLOL Bill - I am also a shower freak and I ALWAYS brush my teeth in the SHOWER. I have a solution to your promblem - one toothbrush in the shower and the other in the basket on the counter. It works for me ;-)
Posted by: Michelle at August 6, 2004 02:43 PMNo, no, no. You brush your teeth in the sink, and then rinse your mouth in the shower. Didn't anybody teach you proper etiquette? Sheesh. You probably don't even have a duvet, either.
Posted by: lucy at August 6, 2004 03:14 PM