Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

The Cassini People Were Right

I must tell you that I come forward and divulge what I have seen only with great trepidation. I could not find anything at all in the automotive literature on this topic; so, I continue to be puzzled and am fighting a rising feeling of fear, which is caused by the paranoia engendered in me by our government officials concerning terror threats and all things having to do with strangers in our midst.

I wrote down the license number of the car on my palm so that I could easily lick my palm and wipe off the evidence if I were to be apprehended by the "authorities." It could happen, you know.

Before I go any further, however, I should tell you that I am not one of the lunatic fringe of those believers that extra-terrestrials are infiltrating our society in human form nor am l one of those crazy government conspiracy theorists. But sometimes you can't ignore such ideas; after all, they could be true, you know.

The car I saw this morning was one of those fancy Saturn LS300 sedans, black in color. That should tell you something right there. Saturn ... there is no other car named after a planet, except Mercury, and nothing can live on Mercury because it's 800 degrees there. And if you consider something like this relevant, right now, there's that Cassini space probe checking out Saturn. He wasn't driving a Chevy or a Ford or a BMW. He was driving a Saturn, and that should tell you something.

Driving the black Saturn was what appeared to be a male. He was wearing glasses, the kind with silver frames. He was in his late 50's or so, trying to look younger, maybe much younger, because he had obviously dyed his hair some kind of color not known in nature, not known in nature on this good, green Earth, that is. And he had a comb-over, the kind with 17 hairs combed over one at a time, like they cover more space if carefully placed, certainly not a normal thing to do, at least not in my book pamphlet.

I know exactly what you are thinking rlght now, that you've heard this all before. Maybe you can't recall exactly where or when, but you know you've heard it before; and I realize that. I don't mean to imply that there is something wrong with your memory, or that you are not of your right mind, but you hear weird things like this from time to time and can't figure out where or when you heard it. Maybe you even remember something about the Cassini people and how the Cassini people were right. I can't help you there. I don't know for certain what you would be talking about. I never heard that before.

And while all this stuff about the car and what-appeared-to-be-a-male behind the wheel of the car might be unusual, if you happen to look at it from a skewed perspective, or just run-of-the-mill, if you look at it from my point of view, there was one thing that made everything make some sense, to me, at least.

For some strange reason, and I don't pretend to be omniscient and all-knowing, like some bloggers and some blog readers who just sit there smugly and chuckle to themselves, the driver's side headrest, the thing sticking up behind this gentleman's quite unnatural head, and not the passenger's side headrest, mind you, where nothing corporeal was seated, was wrapped with aluminum foil, and not just any kind of aluminum foil, crinkled up aluminum foil. And that was what really piqued my curiosity ... crinkled up aluminum foil where none should be.

Posted by Bill at September 7, 2004 03:21 PM