October 17, 2004

Halloween House Explained

one or two several dozenhundredtens of thousand e-mails came in asking about the photo of the house with the Halloween decorations. It is not our house -- if one more person asks me that question, I will not post the picture of the heathen decorations that are displayed at Christmas and Chanukkah at the very same house from huge Homer Simpson to 17-foot Santa.

I have done one of those Time magazine cover map thingys for you along with the numbered key. Now, stop e-mailing me about the house ... I will answer any other questions you may have about any other subject from ab irons and aliens to, well ... zygotes.

scan0002.jpg

1. Ghost w/ gun 2. Lighted pumpkin 3. Ghoul popping out of pumpkin 4. Ghost 5. Rabbit w/ scarf sitting on pumpkin 6. Pumpkin 7. Ghost behind tree 8. Three pumpkins stacked up 9. Pumpkin w/ witch hat 10. Mailbox on post 11. Witch on broom 12. Big-ass pumpkin 13. Purple thing 14. Three more pumpkins stacked up 15. Four pumpkins fucking stacked up. 16. Two-legged Tooth Ghoul 17. Witch waving 18. Companion witch with broom 19. Spooky headstone 20. Ribbon on tree 21. Rock 22. Waving ghoul w/ smiling pumpkin head 23. Ghost 24. Pumpkin 25. Scary Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man 26. Rocket J. Squirrel 27. Lamp pole w/ green hand coming out of it 28. Ghoul on roof 29. Ghost w/ Kerry for President Shirt 30. Some kind of monster 31. Green Giant Skull 32. White VW Beetle w/ black "The Who" sticker on the back bumper 33. Alien head sticking out of ground 34. President Bush 35. Chipmunk in tree 36. Another goddamned ghost 37. And another ghost 38. Moustachioed ghoul with horns and arms 39. Fucked-up ghost 40. Chicken ghost 41. Rock under which Osama bin Laden crawled 42. Little green ghost 43. Another fucking pumpkin

Posted by Bill at October 17, 2004 06:56 PM
Comments

Is that drawn on a Levenger notecard?

Posted by: KathyHowe at October 17, 2004 09:13 PM

Way, way too much time on your hands.

Posted by: lucy at October 18, 2004 12:06 AM

I hope you see fit eventually to have these various diagrams of yours printed and offered on the Home Shopping Network.

Posted by: Philip at October 18, 2004 05:50 PM

BTW...Remind me to never ask you for instructions or directions.

Posted by: KathyHowe at October 18, 2004 09:13 PM

I really needed to enrich my life with that information.
You must have spent hours on it!

Posted by: Anji at October 20, 2004 02:47 AM

See, you can understand the confusion of "the People" when you park the damn White VW Beetle w/ black "The Who" sticker on the back bumper right in front of the house...

I personally like #41 I gotta get me one of those for out front of our house at Halloween. It makes a great decoration. Oh wait. I think I've got one already.

Posted by: Keri at October 20, 2004 10:12 AM