Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Jupiter Kinetic

I bought a really cool-looking Multicolor Jupiter Kinetic yesterday. Here is a little diagram of it.

It's a bunch of balls hooked together by stiff rods. It takes a 9-volt battery in the base. It cost $1.49.

There are no instructions in the box, on the box, or near the box. I think that's because on Jupiter, they don't have paper; I read that beings on Jupiter float around on the wind currents and look like big gas bags with eyes and big mouths with no teeth. And they communicate by mental telepathy. Well ... that could be true. How do you know it isn't? Prove it.

I think this Jupiter Kinetic is some kind of magic electromagnetically powered thing that turns; like once I get it going, it will be in perpetual motion, just like the gas bag beings on Jupiter. That could be true. How do you know it isn't?

The medium-sized balls, two gold and two silver (hence the Multicolor scientific designation), are attached like they might be able to spin, but the spinning thingy for each set of two balls, one gold and one silver, isn't loose enough or needs lubrication or both. The great big silver ball is heavy, like with a giant electromagnet in it, just like the Mafia uses to pick up cars and put them in the crushers. The small ball is not heavy, but it might have a small electromagnet in it. Well ... that could be true. Matybe not the Mafia part, but the rest of it could be true. How do you know it's not? Huh?

Or it could be newk-yoo-lerr powered. I bet it is. Well ... that could be true. It really could.

How do you know it isn't? Are you like ... the president? He knows everything. He's like a scientist, only way, way smarter.

The box has five pictures of the Jupiter thing, fully assembled. All the same picture. That would help the president. All his advisers show him pictures of stuff he needs to know about. Like they showed him pictures of newk-yoo-lerr bombs that were blown off. Then they showed him a picture and said it was Iraq. See? Honest mistake ... anyone would think there were newk-yoo-lerr bombs going off in Iraq. Well ... it could be true. How do you know it's not? Huh?

Yeppers, fer sure, the president could show me how this Jupiter Kinetic is supposed to work. Well, ... wait a minute ... on second thought, maybe the president won't be able to help me. On the bottom of the box, there's some other writing: "recommended for ages 8 and older."

I'll just have to figure it out myself. It can't be that hard. It's just physics.

Posted by Bill at January 20, 2005 10:52 PM