Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

"It's Some Dumbass Calling Collect From Jail"

Okay, Miss, I think I understand your hype-ANN-thetical question.

If the bartender wants you to get out of the bar with your male friend because your male friend has been rowdier and more belligerent than normal, I suggest you just leave. With any luck at all, the police won't bother you if you're walking on the sidewalk minding your own business less than a block from home; and just because the police car stops and asks if everything is okay doesn't mean they are going to arrest you. If you tell them everything is cool, they will usually move on to more important things.

Now, I'm not going to tell you that it's against the law to tell the police officer to go fuck himself because it's not. You're right about that. But, legally speaking, you really fuck yourself by doing that. And in police lingo, "Go fuck yourself" is actually an invitation to stop the police car, get out, and ask you questions.

That's called a Terry stop. That's legal. But, of course, you think they're fucking with you. And you're absolutely right. They are fucking with you, but that's not illegal. They have the right to fuck with you because of what you said.

And when your male friend pukes all over one of the fucking pigs, as your male friend calls them, and they tell him he's under arrest for public intoxication, and then he goes into his stiff body routine he learned in some '60's how-to-protest instructional video and won't get into the police car, and, of course, the pepper spray comes out, it is my advice that:

No, absolutely not. Under no circumstance, should you jump on the big fucking pig's back and try to choke the living shit out of him.

That's not a good idea at all. Not a good thing to do.

So, if that ever happens, you'll be in big trouble. You'll get arrested. Now, could this have something to do with you calling me collect from a corrections facility?

Posted by Bill at October 3, 2005 11:32 PM