This morning, I met with my client in court to decide whether he was going to cop a plea or go to trial. He was accused of theft, actually, aiding and abetting his friend in her adventure inside a local grocery store.
I di'n't take the stuff. I di'n't take nothin'. I paid for my stuff.
But your special lady friend took a shitload of stuff, didn't she.
I guess so.
What does that mean ... "I guess so?" She had a duffel bag. She stuffed half the meat case in the duffel bag. You were with her, right?
Yeah.
And you saw her stuffing porterhouse steaks and strip steaks in the duffel bag, right?
And sirloins.
And you went along with it.
No.
No? ... No? ... You went to the cashier, paid for your ice cream; and she stood in line behind you and then went out the door with you, carrying her duffel bag.
Yeah.
You were like runnin' interference for her ...
How's I s'posed ta know she wa'n't gonna pay.
Here's the deal, just so you know -- I'm a moron and I don't even believe that story, and there's no fucking way a jury is going to believe that crock of shit you're layin' on me.
You don't believe me?
Fuck, no.
That's bad when my law'er don't even believe me.
Bad? In legal terms, you're fucked.
Bill, that's a classic. Thanks for handin' me a laugh.
Posted by: Kyle at March 25, 2006 01:18 AMI am entirely too cranky to deal with people like this. Honestly, just hearing "di'n't" and "wa'n't" is enough to make me see red.
I have to hand it to you, you are a much bigger person than me.
Posted by: moonandsun03 at March 26, 2006 01:29 PMDid he offer to pay you in meat?
Posted by: Joel Sax at March 29, 2006 01:00 AM