i put $15 on a credit card yesterday so we could accept collect phone calls from jail to my cell (we don't have a land line). i put $15 TODAY on my credit card. i'm NOT doing it tomorrow. i think there's enough left as of now to enjoy one more very short call from him.
the boy must have cojones the size of bowling balls. i don't know how he pulls his pants up over 'em.
what he wants is for bill and me to start looking at different treatment centers so he can get out of jail NOW. i told him we wouldn't do that, that he could if he wanted to, that he might be right, just maybe the director of the center where he WAS isn't jumping through the hoops for jax as fast or as high as he could if it weren't for the fact that he might not be thrilled with jax for his shit attitude (which he mentioned to j's sponsor) and the little "escape." that just because he has damaged this "bridge," we weren't going to go looking for other bridges for him to burn up.
he says to me, "what am i supposed to do here?" i said, "time to spend some time thinking."
this is where the balls come in. he says, "sure, whatever. i'll go back to my one-inch mattress on the floor and try to think!" and hangs up.
i burst out laughing. he's trying to make me feel guilty? ain't gonna happen. not right now. and he hangs up on me? dude's got balls, i tell ya.
the next time he calls, i tell him that he better NOT do that to me again, else i'd not be accepting any more calls from him. he was sorry.
anger sure feels better than sorrow and fear. but i sure as HELL don't feel guilty.
Posted by Stacey at August 21, 2006 08:36 PMGO GIRL!
-d
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
Posted by: Trace at August 21, 2006 11:41 PMI think you're right. I think he's got to sort himself out from his side now.
Posted by: Anji at August 22, 2006 09:57 AMThinking doesn't require special bedding, a window with a view or latte's from OurBucks.
Thinking requires the balls to actually START THINKING. And most people that fear thinking fear what they will discover, realize or be forced to admit about themselves once they start. It's easy to lash out at others. Hard to kick your own ass.
I love you, Stace. Good for you for realizing that he is hiding from his fear by striking out at you with guilty remarks.
Posted by: KathyHowe at August 22, 2006 10:34 AMOkay, not to dismiss the whole point of this post... but last night at 3am while I was awake for no apparently purpose, I re-read this poist and started laughing at the line...
the boy must have cojones the size of bowling balls. i don't know how he pulls his pants up over 'em.
and all kinds of visions of him dragging around cojones that were hitting the ground started entering my head and I spent 20 minutes wiping tears from my eyes from the laughter.
I think my stress level was so high that this was my release..... I hope someone gives you something to laugh at today.
love ya,
Dana
Oh Stacey, I can't wait to meet you someday. We have so much to talk about and so much in common. This post could have been written by me, although much less eloquently, about the alcoholics in my life.
P.S. I confess that a slightly hysterical giggle burbled forth when I read the statement that Dana found so funny. That really is priceless.
Posted by: moonandsun03 at August 22, 2006 12:25 PM