January 16, 2007
Fuelman ... We Knew Him Well
Several years ago, I thought it would be cool to get the boys Fuelman signs for Christmas. Yeah, I'm a weird-o. Y'know, we'd be driving; and they'd say something like, "Look at that Fuelman sign, fucking cool." Yeah, they're weird, just like me ... what can I say. The good genes come from their mother; the torn jeans come from me.
So, I started making phone calls. Okay, yeah, I could have stolen a couple of the signs; but usually, they are up high and affixed to a pole by screws or the fixture that comes with the signs to hang them. Carrying a ladder to a gas station and messing with Fuelman signs could get one shot or arrested. Like I say, I made some calls, asking people along the way if I could buy two signs. No, I wasn't a distributor. No, I wasn't a station owner.
I finally got some kind of regional big-wig, who started laughing at my request. I explained that my two sons loved the signs. It would make a good gift. I could hang it up. He thought it was a great gift for my two small boys. Yeah, yeah, I told him ... yeah, they really think the signs are cool.
He's the one who mentioned that they were young. I simply didn't deny it. I didn't tell him that one was 21 and one was 17. Why destroy his illusion of two young boys playing with their toy trucks under the watchful eye of Fuelman, ever ready to re-fuel their vehicles?
The regional manager delivered two signs to the house, one red and one yellow. He thought that it would be neat if they each had their own. And he told me to forget about the charges for the signs ... he was happy to do this for the kids. Okay, maybe I should have said something about how old the kids were, how tall the kids were ... maybe ... but I didn't. I am filled with remorse. I am seeing a therapist.
I find it extremely difficult to put into words my utter disappointment, my disgust, as I drove down Detroit Avenue this afternoon. Someone needs to stand up for tradition.
Someone needs to stand up for what is fucking cool.
The new Fuelman sign sucks. Give me a fucking break, people! It's a stupid goddamn gas pump, not THE FUELMAN.
Who thought up this abomination? Where has imagination gone? Is change always a good thing? How much money was spent on the new design and the new signs? It's a tragic sign of the times.
I am saddened by the passing of an icon. As for the Fuelman. That was the last we ever saw of him. He lives now ... only in our memories.
Fuel -- Man. Oh, how hard is that to understand, ad man?
Posted by Bill at January 16, 2007 11:40 PMNot only does he live on in our memories, he lives on by hanging from my living room wall. :^)
Posted by: matt at January 17, 2007 12:04 AMcan't forget "the adventures of fuelman" (http://www.lewis-comics.com/archive/fm.arc.html)! My personal fav is: http://www.lewis-comics.com/archive/toons/0239.html. neat story, but didn't you get them a fuelman shirt or something too, as i recall?
Posted by: mark at January 17, 2007 01:38 AMI'm sure if you get up enough signatures they'd bring him back.
Rob loves the old signs too, though I don't think we have feulman in Europe. Rob's ambition is to own a set of traffic lights.
You just kill me. How is it that you are getting more funny with the passing of time?
I also must thank you for educating me. Being from California, I've somehow lived 41 yrs without ever hearing of Fuelman. I didn't know what I was missing.
Posted by: moonandsun03 at January 17, 2007 05:47 PMI was thinking as I read, "do the boys not still have the signs?" Then Matt clarified the fact. What a cool keepsake for your sons. I agree the new sign is awful. Like most everything nowadays, "they don't make 'em like they used to."
Posted by: Trace at January 18, 2007 12:40 AMOh dear. He was very cool. And the new sign? Why bother to keep the name. ridiculous. Glad Matt still has the sign.
Posted by: Keri at January 19, 2007 01:30 PMHow the present loves to destroy the past in the name of progress.
Wow. How profund can I git?